The thoughts of A Nomad Soul

Each one of us is on a journey; each one of us has a history, from our birth to the time when our life ends. The distance between those two points in time is our journey. These are reflections of part of my journey. A journey that might be different from yours, but I am sure you might find that there are places where you can relate.

In a sense, even though we might not realize it, we are all traveling on two journeys. There is the one which is visible, that which we can see with our eyes, the places that pass us by, the events like births, graduations, weddings, relationships, breakups, jobs, careers & much more. Then there is the journey within, the real essence of our lives. The journey into inner space, into our heart & soul, into who we really are, what makes us run this race called life, what motivates our actions or inaction's. This journey is the more important of the two, since it determines our outer journey. My thoughts in these pages reflect not only the physical Africa, but the effects that Africa had on my soul.

Call it awareness; call it being in touch, a sense of destiny, sensitivity to divinity, to inner leading and directions. My journey has been filled with both. There have been times when I have ignored that inner sense & just gone with that which is visible to the eye, only to find that I did not find the joy in my journey. Whereas, when I go on the inner path, I find that the sense of joy that permeates all of me & is visible to those around me. The motivation for life, the will to keep on going, the desire to discover new things is not an extrinsic motivation but comes from deep within.

Africa is the place where I experience what I call, some real "finding times". A place where I found that inner sense, my home, my place of discovery, celebrating each day like it was the only one.

The journey has brought me to where I am at this moment in time. I do not know what my future holds, but I can say this. "I do know who holds my future." It does not matter where my feet have been, but in which direction they are headed.

I once took a journey on an old boat down the Crocodile River. I drifted lazily along, only allowing the current to direct me. It was a wonderful feeling in the warm African sun. Yet at times I needed to use the oars to keep me headed in the right direction. I find the same in my life. There are times when I need to make some adjustments in my journey using the tools, the ores that have been given to me, to keep me headed in the right direction.

Knowing that sooner or later, I will be heading home. An inner confidence, that my life does have a sense of purpose, of direction & of leading. The river of life has kept me within its channels, & all that I have experienced has been for the good of things, for in & outworking of simply who I am. I somehow sense that the best is yet to come.

I hope that you enjoy these pages; the reflections & discoveries of my journey & may they inspire you on yours.

The my inner journey, the care of the soul has been something I have always pursued even though at times I took some short-cuts or detours, My ideas as to how we human beings are empowered, how life is really sustained beyond mere existence & how we can be in tune with ourselves & the world in which we live have changed a lot. I find that it always comes down to living from my center, living from within, appreciating each moment, drinking it all in & experiencing life with all of its flavors. Finding joy & not just seeking happiness, call it "living with passion."

On a hike one day; as I crossed a river, I stood on a bridge looking into the ravine below. I saw a leaf go by tumbling over logs & some rocks. I thought that was just like my life had been, Overcoming the obstacles with sheer will power, blood, sweat & tears. I also remembered the words of an old man who was blind, sitting on the streets of Maputo, Mozambique, who when I leaned over to money in his cup, took my hand & said: "The difficulties in your life will form something different in you. Drink deep from the cup that has been placed on your lips, drink the cup of suffering so that you may go on & be healed." I had forgotten those words until recently.

I turned & followed the leaf as it made its way to the lake & thought of the river & how it merged with the lake. I saw it lose its color & blend with the vast gray of the Lake. I thought of myself; my way, my will & how I had connected & flowed into something larger than myself. A realization that there were other realms, dimensions. That there was something greater than my little world & I could be & wanted to be part of it. I have always been part of it; but now I wanted to be one with it.

I usually see concepts in pictures, images that flow to me & make things real as to my own life & how to walk the path that is meant for me.

As I was hiking through the hills I came across a stream that I followed which led me to a clearing which turned out to be a swamp type area. I looked around & saw that the Fever trees were losing their color & life. I saw water surrounding them; stagnant water. There was no flow of life, only murky water. I looked up & saw an inflow of the stream & then I saw the reason for the swamp. It turned out the outflow had been blocked by debris forming a dam.

The light came on in my head & a realization that I had become like that swamp, that I had an inflow but no outflow. It was there that I made the commitment to use what had been given to me. To harmonize my life along the lines of my gifts & talents & not to fit into some mold of other people's expectations, being true to the life & light within.

I miss the relational aspects of life. I do miss sitting with people in the evenings at their homes & talking about life, about the past, present & future; but, I would miss the sounds of drums drifting through the thick, humid night air. The sounds of raindrops, pounding down, the crack of thunder as it strikes the great lakes. I will miss sitting with village elders & drinking some home-brew out of a common pot with a long, wooden straw & sharing one's journey. It is here where I have truly learned to enjoy the moment.

I was sitting outside my tent one day & was having coffee & cookies. I dropped one of the cookies, or a portion thereof. For the next two hours I sat there under the tent awning & watched a trail of ants carry away the cookie, crumb by crumb.

An African guard that is traveling with me came by & laughed & said, Muzungu (white man), you are becoming a Mudagavu (African) you are enjoying the small things in life. This really made me smile.

Patience in our journey, watching things unfold, allowing them to be birthed naturally instead of doing a caesarian operation in my own strength. Allowing the life force within to lead me through dreams & visions, images that come to me as I quiet my heart & soul.
I am going to allow what I have learned here to be replicated wherever I go. To be relational rather than task orientated. To work with people instead of through people. To share what has been given. To be replenished daily through a quiet waiting. To embrace the moment to live life in the spirit of what the Jews call "La Chaim." To look at the past & say what Edith Piaf, the sparrow of French Music used to sing (Je ne regrette rien) I have nothing to regret.

The sad thing I find is that most people live on a different plane. They do not understand the path of the soul. There is no care of the soul. Life is repetitions of getting up, going to work, going to bed.

The wonderful thing is that there is so much more. Our Philosophy of life needs to go through a paradigm shift. A shift away from task orientation. Away from more is better, away running the race of life without purpose to the place where we can enjoy who we are, what is around us, to eat the ice-cream cone with the gusto of a little child, of being childlike without being childish.

In my own life that place came as I hit a wall, some might call it a dark night of the soul, others an inner awakening, the result has been a release of life within, being able to savor the little things in life & in a sense, to dance as Zorba the Greek with a sense of abandonment.

Lacheim is my inner call, the Hebrew word calling one to life. In Swahili they say “Kabissa”, meaning complete, & though I am far from it, the journey is on. Enjoy my African journey as you continue to read these pages of mine...

You either love Africa or you hate it, I happen to love Africa. My first love will always be Africa no matter where my feet may land.

People always ask me how one can be of help to the children of Africa ... one way is to come & see, the other is to support a child in Africa that helps to educate them out of poverty into a life where there is a sense of a meaningful life...

Inside the great mystery that is, we don't really own anything. What is this competition we feel then, before we go, one at a time, through the same age?
If you have opened your loving to G-d's love, you are helping people you don't know & have never seen.