Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
-Oscar Wilde-
This is an awesome quote, because it paints a true word picture of selfishness.
You can always recognize this kind of person by their actions, & it is easy to spot them because they will try to make you feel guilty if you do not agree with or appease them.
One person with a giant ego can completely interrupt a gathering of family or friends to the point that others do not enjoy being around them. They tend to think that it is everyone else who has a bad attitude & they are only speaking what they feel. Relationships can be damaged severely & sometimes do not recover.
As a Child of G-d, you must not think that you always have to do whatever a selfish person wants just so things can be tolerable. If you do this, you will always live in a state of stress because you never know what detail (usually small) will be the one that triggers mayhem.
Have you ever thought that you might be called to be salt (gives good flavor) & light to that person? G-d might want you to show them what it truly means to be a good, solid, balanced person that others like, respect, & admire. Selfish people have a lot of anger & fear deep inside.
G-d might want to use you to show them how to handle everyday things in a way that is pleasing to Him. You do not know what another has gone through in their life that makes them the way they are. G-d wants His children to look at others with much the same love & compassion that He does. Outside actions are just the symptom of a larger inner problem.
If you always give in to their way, how will they ever start to realize what they have become & be able to make a change? G-d is wonderful at making people very uncomfortable in their current situation, & you might be the person He uses to bring it about.
When you think about your own life, you very rarely have had the incentive to change something until you grew miserable or uncomfortable with it.
If you have a person in your life that needs help in this area, do the following things:
• Pray & ask G-d to show you how to deal with them in everyday situations.
• Pray until you know you have heard the truth from G-d; then you won't be consumed with guilt or anger when you do stand for what is right.
• Ask G-d to show you what to stand for & what to let slide. After all, He wants them to change as much as you do & He always ministers with grace.
• Ask G-d to let you see them the way He does. He can show you why they have grown to act the way they do. Then you can pray for them in a more direct way.
• Ask Him to give you strength to love them, but yet stand up for your own values & not be swallowed by the values of the selfish person.
• Learn that you have to keep guard over your own character & personality & not let the other person determine who you will become. You are entitled to be your own person, so don't lose your identity.
• Ask G-d to help you be salt & light to them & do it in a way that is G-dly, with dignity, and shows mercy.
• G-d will let you know whether you are the person to help or whether you should just step away until such time that the person has been helped. Not everyone is equipped to deal with such a person & it would be better to step aside when needed.
G-d Bless,
J
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23 comments:
This one makes alot of sense. Ya sure good at givin' good advice. Well written J. G-d bless ya.
Very well written. These words are all true and valuable in every way. G-d Bless you.
Is help me to help a woman. She is nice but to much the selfish. Maybe now I try your way. It is good way.
To be selfish to other people is to rob yourself of any form of dignity. Well written J.
In the US there are to many selfish people. From politicians to average people, even some Christians. Its not nice to be selfish. The "my way" is not always the right way and some selfish people can also be very nasty. I like the points of action you use and will be using them from now on. Thank you J.
You have no selfish bone in you and to write about this is impressive. Being selfish is unkind to others. G-d says we must always be kind. People will read this and think about your words.
Good advice. Hard to step away from a selfish person though when its someone you love and care about. Well written.
Very good points you have made. Selfishness has a way of becoming an ugliness. We should try never to be selfish if we can help it. Well written.
Selfish attitudes cause unhappiness among friends and even sometimes with family. Its unnecessary! G-d bless. :)
You are salt and light to so many. The issue of being selfish is a sad reality. People just don't have the same values installed in them as we did as children. To share and give to those who are needy is much better than to be selfish and hoard for ourselves. well written J.
Being selfish is a big issue. Basically we live in a selfish world. Think about it. Would be nice to hear more of your thoughts on this subject. Well written all the same.
I also think that being selfish is so unnecessary. It doesn't cost anything to think of someone else first or to be kind to them. Well written.
I can think of quite a few people who should read this. Might get their minds right. Well written J. Being selfish never pays in the long run. Go well.
I am so happy my parents taught me to never be selfish or unkind. It's sad to think of what extremes some people will go in their selfish mode. I saw it in High School and even now at University. G-d is so good and so kind and I know He will help guide me when I need Him to. Thank you for your guidance and wise words too. :) G-d bless you.
Again, this would take pages. I would say to much on the issue too. Children can be very selfish; we probably all went down that road growing up, but adults should no better than that. G-d teaches us to be kind and caring. Being selfish should never be in the equation of anything when we are children of G-d. Well written. Thank you for sharing.
The whole planet is selfish. Not many care anymore. Its all about self gain. Good piece. Hope it makes a difference.
Well written. A subject I prefer to avoid for now though. G-d Bless you.
Its human nature, inbuilt in us. Everyone has selfish moments and its not always a good thing. Well written.
Thanks for very valuable advice. I also enjoyed reading the opinions of the others. We should never be selfish. Sometimes we are or have been. I always apologise afterwards because I feel so bad. Well written J. G-d bless you.
A very powerful message. Thanks.
We always need to do and say what we think G-d would. He is an unselfish G-d so we should also be unselfish. Thanks for sharing.
The word "Selfish" has so many different meanings. I know that being selfish is not acceptable, but, I do think there are times that we are selfish and that we need to be. A perfect example: I will selfishly guard my family and all its members when I think it is necessary to do so. If I am to ne called selfish for that, then so be it. When being selfish for self gain, then we must step back and review the reasons. Well written J.
Wow...this one hit close to home. G-d Bless you, J. I understand these words, and you, as always, have given me a lot to think about... :)
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