Ok, here's the problem: I'm supposed to love my fellow man. Which means that I should accept my fellow human beings as they are. (That's what love means, right?) But can I … indeed, should I … accept my fellow human beings as they are?
Should I accept a malnourished child as she is? Should I accept a drug-addicted teenager, a suicidal spouse or a bigoted friend as he is? If a person I love suffers a lack of something … whether that something is food, money, knowledge, health, moral integrity or peace of mind … & whether that person wants to be helped or not … should I not do everything in your power to fill that lack?
Love is an oxymoron. To truly love someone I have to do two contradictory things: I have to respect him & I have to care for him. If I do not accept him as he is, that means that I do not respect him. It means that I don't really love him … I love only what I wish to make of him. But to love someone also means that I care for him & desire the best for him. & since very, very few people are the best that they can be, caring for someone means not accepting him as he is, but believing in his potential to be better & doing everything I can to reveal that potential.
I can respect someone. I can care for someone. I can accept a person as s/he is. I can not accept a person as s/he is. But I can't do both at the same time. Love sounds great in principle. In practice, it's impossible.
But I love myself. I'm not unaware of my deficiencies … indeed, in a certain sense, I am more aware of them than anyone else. I want to improve myself, but I don't think less of myself because I haven't yet done so. I respect myself & I care for myself; I accept myself as I am, while incessantly striving to make myself better than I am. I love myself -- truly, fully, in every sense of the word.
The fact that such love is a logical paradox is irrelevant. It may be impossible to do two opposite things at the same time, but billions of people, myself included, do exactly that. I love myself regardless of whether this love makes sense, regardless of the inherent contradiction it embodies.
That's why the Torah tells us to "Love your fellow man as yourself." If you find it impossible to love your fellow man … to both respect him & care for him, to be deeply concerned about his faults & be completely unmindful of them at the same time … think for a minute about how you love yourself.
Then love your fellow man as you love yourself.
G-d Bless.
J
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21 comments:
The complexity and choice of wording you used intrigued me. However, it does make sense after you read it a few times. Well written J.
Interesting. Difficult to grasp at first.
Well written J. It is true that we need to love ourselves before we are able to love anyone else; including our enemies.
Loving myself isn't the problem. Forgiving and loving some of the people is my problem. Do you really think G-d expects us to love terrorists/murders/rapists? I've never understood how people can love bad people or forgive them. Can you make me think differently?
You are unique as a whole when it comes to love. You are probably the only person I know that loves everyone in the world. I have always wondered how you manage to do that. :) Thanks for sharing.
There's no way I can love everyone. Also don't mean I don't love myself. Interesting what you've written.
Well written. We must always love without condition; you taught us that even before we understood the Torah. :) Thanks for sharing! Happy Shabbat.
Well written J.
I like how you have written this. My mother always used to tell us that we can never love unless we love ourselves first. It is true. Sometimes it can be difficult to love our enemies, but I know we must. Thanks for sharing and G-d bless you.
Complicated but true. Well written.
Interestingly put. Well written.
The greatest treasure from G-d is love. If you can understand love, you will love G-d, yourself and all people; any color, any religion and even the man who hates you.
È difficile da capire ancora, ma nessun problema per le donne italiane ad amare se stessa prima. Ma noi non amare tutti, perché alcune persone sono al male all'amore.
Nicely written. I agree with everythin ya said. Stay well. :)
Dit is glad nie maklik nie. Ek dink onmoontlik. Hoe moet ons die wreede mense op die aarde lief he? Ek kan nie. Ek sien misdaad elke dag in my land en van die wreedste dinge. Wat jy se is alles mooi maar jy moet n uitsondering wees om so liefdevol te wees. Ek wens jou alle voorspoed toe.
Interestin'.
Wow...deep thoughts, J. Love everyone as you love yourself, but love G-d above all others. See the potential in everyone as you see the potential in you, and love will prevail. I had to read this several times through and think tons before responding. LOL! My thought is...if you see G-d in everyone, as we are created in His image, you should have no problem loving them, no matter what they do. You do not have to like everything about them or everything they do, but you should love them nonetheless. The other thing to think about is that G-d created many types of love, not just one. Use our everloving Father in Heaven as an example of the love you should show to everyone else. Thanks for the meditation for the day, J. :)
Well written. Difficult to do but everyone should try.
Nicely written.
Well written and true words.
G-d does say we can never love unless we love ourselves first. Well written. G-d Bless you.
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