Hello Everyone! We are excited to introduce you to another writer among us. We will refer to this individual as "The Marine". He has some wonderful things to say here and we are sure you will enjoy this just as much as we did:
Towards the end of my deployment in Afghanistan, I learned how to don the tefillin in my hooch between patrols with my platoon from one village to the next. There, I had fifty other Marines with me protecting each others' back. We felt almost invincible. But when I was deployed to Iraq, a lone Jewish Marine Corps Officer among hundreds of Iraqi soldiers in a remote region of the Syrian border, I had to live with keeping my religious identity to myself.
I recall the loneliness I would feel while standing on the berm separating Iraq from Syria, staring across the desert and dreaming about being in Israel only a couple hundred miles away. I would laugh to myself how I could drive there and back in a day and nobody would have to be the wiser. So close, but a world away. It was like a kind of torture. Maybe Moses felt similar when he wasn't permitted to enter Canaan. I hope not.
As an imbedded trainer among 1,500 Iraqi soldiers, I had to conceal my identity twenty-four hours a day. In the eyes of the Iraqis that I was training, I was just another blue-eyed, Christian American. My teammates (all nine of them) understood my situation and knew that my religion had to be kept a secret. I couldn't even have "Jewish" on my dog-tags. We had two Iraqi translators who lived with us, and after a few months we built trust and they learned of my religion, but still I always felt I had to watch my back extra carefully. I was always afraid that somehow my religious identity would get out and an Iraqi officer smiling at me one moment would put a bounty on my head ten minutes later.
My one moment of consolation was going into our team hut on our compound, stepping behind my poncho liner hanging from the ceiling, putting on my tefillin and talit (which I received from the Aleph Institute) and saying the Shema and daily prayers. My teammates thought it was a strange ritual, but respectfully showed understanding and once in a while even a slight curiosity. I've been told that Jewish Marine Corps officers make up one half of one percent of the USMC. Truly, the very few and just as proud.
Raised as an unobservant Jew in Hollywood, CA, I never considered putting on tefillin. On a visit to Israel with a youth group, a group of Chabad Hassidim in Jerusalem offered to help me put on the tefillin and say a prayer. Being a rebel teenager, I thought it was a silly novelty. But in Iraq where IEDs, roadside bombs, snipers, and gunfights were an everyday occurrence and I knew that each and every day might be my last, I cherished my tefillin.
It was my invisible shield. I would physically put it on while I said my prayers, but even after it was removed, I felt that the presence of G‑d would stay with me and see me through one more day. Or at least give me the courage to face my death if my number was up. I've always believed in G‑d, but being in a high stressed combat environment helped bring my love of G‑d closer than ever.
Since returning from Iraq, I have returned to an almost normal life and, feeling less vulnerable, have since placed my tefillin aside. But after writing this message, I realize that whether in a combat zone surrounded by potential enemies who may or may not hate Jews (let alone a Jewish Marine Officer), or home amongst the tribulations, chaos and temptations of American life, placing my "shield" of G‑d over my body and mind to keep me grounded in His power and love is as important now as it was in the Iraqi desert. I may have felt more at risk in Iraq, but with my tefillin, tallit, and prayer, I feel more whole and complete, as if I carry the spirit of G‑d closer to me.
Maybe that's why I should start putting them on again, here at home. Keep G-d close all the time. We all need Him. And also, never forget who you are or your roots.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Rythm of the Universe
I like to believe that there is a song to the universe. That beyond the daily hustle & bustle, there is a tune to which life is playing, & that our task is to learn the rhythm of the Divine plan & fall into step with it.
You can see when someone is in sync with the song. You can see it on their face, in their eyes, the way they talk, the way they lead their life. These individuals have the strongest faith; they do not live in doubt, they have nothing to fear. They radiate joy; they are happy people.
I have learned that in order to fully connect to a melody, you must be able to let go of yourself. When you are preoccupied with details, you cannot truly listen, & when you are afraid to lose control, you cannot truly sing. A genuine artist can deliver sincerely because he knows how to lose his inhibitions. In turn, the music becomes his refuge, enabling him to leave life's worries behind & be absorbed in a world beyond the physical.
The same is true for the song of the universe. When G d composed it, He promised that it would protect us. He promised us that if we walked with Him we would be blessed to see the good in a world that may be fraught with pain. But in order to hear the Divine song, we must know how to put ourselves aside. When we can honestly surrender to G d, we are no longer bogged down by life's obstacles; it is then that we become a vessel for His infinite blessing.
There is a well known Chassidic story of Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg who approached Rabbi Dov Ber of Mezeritch (known as the "Maggid") with the following question:
How can the Talmud tell us that an individual must bless G d for the bad with the same joy as one would bless G d for the good? How is this humanly possible?
In response, the Maggid sent Reb Shmelke to the great Chassidic master, Reb Zushe of Anipoli, who suffered terrible hardship in his life.
Reb Shmelke repeated his question, to which Reb Zusha responded:
"You raise a good point, but why did our Rebbe send you to me? How would I know? He should have sent you to someone who has experienced suffering."
Indeed, Reb Zushe could hear the song. In a life filled with difficulties, he only knew goodness because he had sensitized himself to the Divine composition of the world & was wholly in tune with the Creator.
But, one may ask, how many can aspire to the spiritual heights of Reb Zushe?
However, it is clear that the Maggid did not send Reb Shmelke to Reb Zushe to simply highlight Reb Zushe's piety. For the Talmud's directive - that one must bless G d for the bad with the same joy as one would bless G d for the good - is towards every individual, not only the tzaddik.
The Maggid was showing Reb Shmelke & each & every one of us in turn, that what the Talmud mandated was humanly possible; that learning the Divine song of the universe was truly achievable.
Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned from the philosophy behind the Suzuki Method of music education: that every child can make great strides in music regardless of the talent he or she initially displays. Japanese violinist Dr. Shinichi Suzuki believed that the difference between the prodigy child & the average child was simply a matter of time. With this empowering message he inspired hundreds of seemingly ungifted children to grow, to listen, & to ultimately unleash the potential they possessed.
Indeed, we can all get there. True, no two souls are alike, & when we embarked on the journey from above to below, each soul was affected by the descent in its own way. Some of us passed through the ethereal worlds with nary a scar; some of us arrived less spiritually aware. Yes, some of us are naturally more in tune with the Divine song, but we can all learn it. It is simply a matter of time.
Granted, it is a challenging experience, filled with frustrations & epiphanies, sorrows & joys, but it is a fascinating experience all the same. For it seems that every happening in an individual's life serves to unravel another part of G d's composition. I imagine that with each test G d is saying, "Here is one more piece of My song."
Every hurdle that we rise above is one more chord that we master; each moment that we believe is another note learned; & every recognition of G d in an exiled world means that we have discerned another nuance in the Divine symphony. As we journey through life we build, verse upon verse, until we reach the crescendo of an unbreakable bond with our Creator.
I used to sit behind her in the synagogue, my grandmother. Her face was weathered, her body frail, her legs could barely support her tiny frame.
During the services, there were moments when she wanted to cry. When they opened the ark & took out the Torah scrolls, everything became a blur & she was a young child again, in the synagogue in Germany. When the cantor sang the "Shema Yisrael", she heard the cries of her family as they were dragged to the gas chambers in Auschwitz, the words of "Shema Yisrael" on their lips.
But she did not cry. She stood up with the rest of the congregants as the Torah is raised, steadying herself by holding onto the table in front of her. She closed her eyes, thanking G d for her life, grateful for the opportunity to praise Him. (She often reminded us to be grateful to be part of His Kingdom)
I watched her, in awe, so many times. How strong & brave is the Jewish spirit! How valiant she was; she had witnessed what should have torn her down, & yet she continued to struggle to survive.
I lower my eyes when I think of those days, my grandmother & her stories. I am humbled. Master of the Universe, You have created the human with a mind that is sharp, & a heart that is gentle; but You have placed this being in a world of harsh dichotomies; a world of experiences that cannot be reconciled by human intelligence & emotion. The sharp mind cannot comprehend; the sensitive heart is easily broken. We ought not to withstand the journey of life, but we persist. We want to learn Your song.
I believe that when you listen to the music in your soul, when you walk in tune to the melody of your spirit, it is then that your life becomes like a dance; one single flow of energy, rising & falling to the rhythm of your destiny.
I'm still learning the song; it is a lifelong journey. But with every step I take, I look towards those who are already dancing to it.
G-d Bless.
J
You can see when someone is in sync with the song. You can see it on their face, in their eyes, the way they talk, the way they lead their life. These individuals have the strongest faith; they do not live in doubt, they have nothing to fear. They radiate joy; they are happy people.
I have learned that in order to fully connect to a melody, you must be able to let go of yourself. When you are preoccupied with details, you cannot truly listen, & when you are afraid to lose control, you cannot truly sing. A genuine artist can deliver sincerely because he knows how to lose his inhibitions. In turn, the music becomes his refuge, enabling him to leave life's worries behind & be absorbed in a world beyond the physical.
The same is true for the song of the universe. When G d composed it, He promised that it would protect us. He promised us that if we walked with Him we would be blessed to see the good in a world that may be fraught with pain. But in order to hear the Divine song, we must know how to put ourselves aside. When we can honestly surrender to G d, we are no longer bogged down by life's obstacles; it is then that we become a vessel for His infinite blessing.
There is a well known Chassidic story of Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg who approached Rabbi Dov Ber of Mezeritch (known as the "Maggid") with the following question:
How can the Talmud tell us that an individual must bless G d for the bad with the same joy as one would bless G d for the good? How is this humanly possible?
In response, the Maggid sent Reb Shmelke to the great Chassidic master, Reb Zushe of Anipoli, who suffered terrible hardship in his life.
Reb Shmelke repeated his question, to which Reb Zusha responded:
"You raise a good point, but why did our Rebbe send you to me? How would I know? He should have sent you to someone who has experienced suffering."
Indeed, Reb Zushe could hear the song. In a life filled with difficulties, he only knew goodness because he had sensitized himself to the Divine composition of the world & was wholly in tune with the Creator.
But, one may ask, how many can aspire to the spiritual heights of Reb Zushe?
However, it is clear that the Maggid did not send Reb Shmelke to Reb Zushe to simply highlight Reb Zushe's piety. For the Talmud's directive - that one must bless G d for the bad with the same joy as one would bless G d for the good - is towards every individual, not only the tzaddik.
The Maggid was showing Reb Shmelke & each & every one of us in turn, that what the Talmud mandated was humanly possible; that learning the Divine song of the universe was truly achievable.
Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned from the philosophy behind the Suzuki Method of music education: that every child can make great strides in music regardless of the talent he or she initially displays. Japanese violinist Dr. Shinichi Suzuki believed that the difference between the prodigy child & the average child was simply a matter of time. With this empowering message he inspired hundreds of seemingly ungifted children to grow, to listen, & to ultimately unleash the potential they possessed.
Indeed, we can all get there. True, no two souls are alike, & when we embarked on the journey from above to below, each soul was affected by the descent in its own way. Some of us passed through the ethereal worlds with nary a scar; some of us arrived less spiritually aware. Yes, some of us are naturally more in tune with the Divine song, but we can all learn it. It is simply a matter of time.
Granted, it is a challenging experience, filled with frustrations & epiphanies, sorrows & joys, but it is a fascinating experience all the same. For it seems that every happening in an individual's life serves to unravel another part of G d's composition. I imagine that with each test G d is saying, "Here is one more piece of My song."
Every hurdle that we rise above is one more chord that we master; each moment that we believe is another note learned; & every recognition of G d in an exiled world means that we have discerned another nuance in the Divine symphony. As we journey through life we build, verse upon verse, until we reach the crescendo of an unbreakable bond with our Creator.
I used to sit behind her in the synagogue, my grandmother. Her face was weathered, her body frail, her legs could barely support her tiny frame.
During the services, there were moments when she wanted to cry. When they opened the ark & took out the Torah scrolls, everything became a blur & she was a young child again, in the synagogue in Germany. When the cantor sang the "Shema Yisrael", she heard the cries of her family as they were dragged to the gas chambers in Auschwitz, the words of "Shema Yisrael" on their lips.
But she did not cry. She stood up with the rest of the congregants as the Torah is raised, steadying herself by holding onto the table in front of her. She closed her eyes, thanking G d for her life, grateful for the opportunity to praise Him. (She often reminded us to be grateful to be part of His Kingdom)
I watched her, in awe, so many times. How strong & brave is the Jewish spirit! How valiant she was; she had witnessed what should have torn her down, & yet she continued to struggle to survive.
I lower my eyes when I think of those days, my grandmother & her stories. I am humbled. Master of the Universe, You have created the human with a mind that is sharp, & a heart that is gentle; but You have placed this being in a world of harsh dichotomies; a world of experiences that cannot be reconciled by human intelligence & emotion. The sharp mind cannot comprehend; the sensitive heart is easily broken. We ought not to withstand the journey of life, but we persist. We want to learn Your song.
I believe that when you listen to the music in your soul, when you walk in tune to the melody of your spirit, it is then that your life becomes like a dance; one single flow of energy, rising & falling to the rhythm of your destiny.
I'm still learning the song; it is a lifelong journey. But with every step I take, I look towards those who are already dancing to it.
G-d Bless.
J
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The “Tipper” Miracles: Part Three: The Incredible Tippers
We now find ourselves to the final part of this series of blogs. The most enjoyable part most likely. Not to mention the part we will all be most familiar with. In the world of the “wait staff” the incredible tipper is always the most welcome. They go above and beyond in gratitude and generosity. This doesn’t, necessarily mean that they are the best in the bunch. Truth be told, in my experience, many of these tippers don’t just hand out these tips on a whim. They make sure that their waiter or waitress earns it. They expect attention, respect, smiles, and gratitude. Some will even run us ragged. They expect us to understand that they aren’t required to leave extra...they aren’t even required to leave anything at all.
What’s this have to do with miracle? I think some of you may already know. This is about the incredible miracles. This is what you find when you type the word miracle into a Google search. This is what you hear about in messages at church or in synagogue. This is what people remember and desperately pray for. This is the stuff that commonly makes people in general sit back and say “wow” and even makes some nonbelievers rethink everything they thought they knew. These miracles are G-d giving us a very slight taste of what He can really do. They are also G-d reminding us just how mortal we really are.
These miracles are when someone beats all odds and recovered from a horrific illness or injury. When a parent sudden feels that something is very wrong and finds that they just knew their child desperately needed them right away. When a husband or wife knows that something is wrong with their spouse even though the two could be miles apart. The list is limitless because G-d is limitless. I believe G-d absolutely loves giving us these miracles. Like any parent, I believe He loves being able to help us out and lift us up out of a rough situation and make things better. But like any good parent, He also knows that constantly saving us from a situation or even ourselves is counterproductive.
I have heard it a million times, “If G-d is so powerful, why doesn’t He fix the world? Why doesn’t He snap His fingers and get rid of the violence and the hungry? If this stuff still exists, maybe He doesn’t care or even exist. G-d hasn’t given me any miracle, maybe I did something wrong.” I am sure many of you have heard at least one of these lines as well. We’ve seen some of our readers comment with these lines. In my past, I myself have used at least one of these lines. In difficult times it can be harder to believe that there is an all powerful being looking down on us. But consider something with me as I paint a picture for you.
Some of you are parents or even aunts/uncles or grandparents. When your child messes up, they instantly look to you to fix it, especially when they are young. As they get older, as hard as it can be for a parent, you need to start stepping back and letting them clean up their own messes. It’s the only way they can truly grow. When a parent instantly fixes everything, all the child seems to learn is that it doesn’t matter if I do this (again), mom and dad will fix this. The same goes for us and G-d. Our human side has a sinful nature that is here to stay. G-d can cleanse and cleanse all day long, day after day, but do you really think that is going to make everything better? He could snap His fingers and force us to be G-dly and well-behaved but that would consist of taking away our free will to choose. He loves us more than we can even begin to imagine, in good times and in bad. And sometimes, in those bad times, we need to lean on that more than anything. In some of these bad times, we may be left with only our faith in G-d to help us move forward. So many at times seem to think that it’s enough to acknowledge G-d and claim faith; but do you REALY have faith in Him? Faith is an “easier said than done” thing in the worst of times. It’s these struggles that will ultimately define you and your faith in G-d.
Now back to the miracles. Some of you have or are witnessing these incredible miracles. I myself have been privileged to witness them on more than one occasion. And I will tell you now, I can’t even being to describe the feeling when you see it. For me, my face lights up, my heart swells with a mixture of excitement, relief, amazement, joy, and awe; and my eyes fill with happy tears. Now, like our tippers, I believe that G-d wants acknowledgment as well. When are we most likely to pray and lean on Him? In bad times. When money is tight or life is changing or there is a chance of losing someone to sickness, you will find people praying like they have never prayed before. But what about when we are in good times? What about when all your ducks are all in a row and there are very few worries in your life? G-d wants our love, prayers, and praise in these times as well. He’s there by our sides no matter what, watching and loving. Shouldn’t we do the same for Him in return? As I said, the incredible tippers aren’t required to leave extra or anything at all. You know what, neither is G-d. He’s here and He loves us because He WANTS too. He wants nothing more than to see His creations blossom and thrive and to love Him in return. Don’t you think we could do that for Him...at the very least?
What’s this have to do with miracle? I think some of you may already know. This is about the incredible miracles. This is what you find when you type the word miracle into a Google search. This is what you hear about in messages at church or in synagogue. This is what people remember and desperately pray for. This is the stuff that commonly makes people in general sit back and say “wow” and even makes some nonbelievers rethink everything they thought they knew. These miracles are G-d giving us a very slight taste of what He can really do. They are also G-d reminding us just how mortal we really are.
These miracles are when someone beats all odds and recovered from a horrific illness or injury. When a parent sudden feels that something is very wrong and finds that they just knew their child desperately needed them right away. When a husband or wife knows that something is wrong with their spouse even though the two could be miles apart. The list is limitless because G-d is limitless. I believe G-d absolutely loves giving us these miracles. Like any parent, I believe He loves being able to help us out and lift us up out of a rough situation and make things better. But like any good parent, He also knows that constantly saving us from a situation or even ourselves is counterproductive.
I have heard it a million times, “If G-d is so powerful, why doesn’t He fix the world? Why doesn’t He snap His fingers and get rid of the violence and the hungry? If this stuff still exists, maybe He doesn’t care or even exist. G-d hasn’t given me any miracle, maybe I did something wrong.” I am sure many of you have heard at least one of these lines as well. We’ve seen some of our readers comment with these lines. In my past, I myself have used at least one of these lines. In difficult times it can be harder to believe that there is an all powerful being looking down on us. But consider something with me as I paint a picture for you.
Some of you are parents or even aunts/uncles or grandparents. When your child messes up, they instantly look to you to fix it, especially when they are young. As they get older, as hard as it can be for a parent, you need to start stepping back and letting them clean up their own messes. It’s the only way they can truly grow. When a parent instantly fixes everything, all the child seems to learn is that it doesn’t matter if I do this (again), mom and dad will fix this. The same goes for us and G-d. Our human side has a sinful nature that is here to stay. G-d can cleanse and cleanse all day long, day after day, but do you really think that is going to make everything better? He could snap His fingers and force us to be G-dly and well-behaved but that would consist of taking away our free will to choose. He loves us more than we can even begin to imagine, in good times and in bad. And sometimes, in those bad times, we need to lean on that more than anything. In some of these bad times, we may be left with only our faith in G-d to help us move forward. So many at times seem to think that it’s enough to acknowledge G-d and claim faith; but do you REALY have faith in Him? Faith is an “easier said than done” thing in the worst of times. It’s these struggles that will ultimately define you and your faith in G-d.
Now back to the miracles. Some of you have or are witnessing these incredible miracles. I myself have been privileged to witness them on more than one occasion. And I will tell you now, I can’t even being to describe the feeling when you see it. For me, my face lights up, my heart swells with a mixture of excitement, relief, amazement, joy, and awe; and my eyes fill with happy tears. Now, like our tippers, I believe that G-d wants acknowledgment as well. When are we most likely to pray and lean on Him? In bad times. When money is tight or life is changing or there is a chance of losing someone to sickness, you will find people praying like they have never prayed before. But what about when we are in good times? What about when all your ducks are all in a row and there are very few worries in your life? G-d wants our love, prayers, and praise in these times as well. He’s there by our sides no matter what, watching and loving. Shouldn’t we do the same for Him in return? As I said, the incredible tippers aren’t required to leave extra or anything at all. You know what, neither is G-d. He’s here and He loves us because He WANTS too. He wants nothing more than to see His creations blossom and thrive and to love Him in return. Don’t you think we could do that for Him...at the very least?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
More from 'H' in Haiti
I was ready to give up. Life was just too harsh. I didn’t think I could survive another day in Haiti.
I am a Human Rights Lawyer and have helped in slums like this all over the world; I have been helping in Haiti for the last eight months. It has become a horror story laced with rodents, roaches, ants and mosquitoes. Life without running water and electricity is exhausting. The stench of human waste and rotting garbage is inescapable. Violence and corruption are commonplace. We recently decided to stay and help out in an area known as Girardo-ville. Access to the heart of the slum is limited to one unpaved road that is almost impassable. The difficult physical journey out of the slum is symbolic of the even more difficult journey out of hopelessness in a city where death and disease linger everywhere in the toxic air.
One night, I became very sick. I awoke in the middle of the night shivering from the cold even though the night air was still very warm. I was running a fever and was wet from perspiration. I could not stop coughing. I became anxious when I realized there was no way out of Girardo-ville at night, and I had no access to help. The thought occurred to me that when people get sick here, especially at night, they die. It is that simple. Residents of this slum have nowhere to go for help; even if they did, they have no money to pay for medical treatment. Curable illnesses, such as malaria and pneumonia, quickly turn into death sentences.
In this place of overwhelming need, I faced my own emptiness and limitations. I faced my own dark side, my own deep poverty and loneliness, my own weaknesses and doubts. At the same time, in this dysfunctional city where extreme chaos and suffering are the foundation of every day, I found beauty, grace and a new way to look at life. This slum became a place of personal transfiguration. Haiti can change a person.
From my perspective, the situation in Haiti seems to be getting worse. There are still a million homeless people in Port-au-Prince. Tents are everywhere. They line the streets, they fill the fields and are jammed into every open space. After eight months, many tents are becoming frayed from the intensity of the sun and the nightly rain storms. Infectious diseases are spreading like wildfire. Violence against women is rising steadily. People are bathing in the streets. The rubble from the collapsed buildings is everywhere.
We met an amazing man - Fr. Tom
Nearly 20 years ago, a man walked into a lawless nightmare under the sun, a gentle, humble, funny man from USA. A former chaplain at Princeton University in New Jersey, he seemed ill-suited by temperament and training to be a beacon of hope in such a hopeless and violent place. His name is Fr. Tom. A member of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, Fr. Tom is the embodiment of the luminous force of intentional kindness and compassion.
He lives, not for himself, but for the forgotten and anguished people of Cité Soleil, a massive slum located on the margins of Port-au-Prince. He does so at great risk to his own life. He, with his dog, Julia, at his side, daily confronts the countless trials of slum life as he tries to comfort, encourage, educate, feed and care for the victims of oppression living in the shadow of death known as Cité Soleil. The first time we walked together through Cité Soleil, he turned to me and said, “In this neighborhood just because you are with me doesn’t make it safe. Someone put a gun to my head here just a few weeks ago.” Daily life in Cité Soleil is dominated by duplicity, fear, ambition, jealousy, rivalry, rumor, false per-ceptions, and slander. A current of violence flows just beneath the surface of it all. He has paid a huge price for trying to bring relief to desperate people of Cité Soleil. In his 16 years in the slum, more than 20 of his staff and volunteers have been murdered.
Half the newborn children in the slum will die before they reach the age of 5. At night, some kids are forced to stay up all night and beat the rats away with sticks. In Haiti, corruption and violence abound. The government is dysfunctional and out of money. Garbage is piled up in the streets and alleys. There is virtually no electrical power; people without a generator spend the night in the dark. Hunger and starvation are rampant. People live in unimaginable squalor and eat mud cakes made from clay, dirt, spices and sugar and contaminated sewage water. All of these shocking conditions existed before the earthquake. The grim, deadly and dangerous environment was made monstrously worse afterward.
Throughout his years in Haiti, he has been vigilant in protecting his morning time of solitude with G-d. Before the earthquake he used to get up every morning at 4:15. He would head straight for the kitchen to make some coffee in a small percolator. Then he would take the pot and a cup to the little chapel on the second floor. The walls were decorated with folk-art paintings of saints and people who had been murdered in Cité Soleil while serving with him. This was the most important part of his day, he said, and he jealously guarded this time of stillness and silence. He placed the coffeepot and cup on a small table next to his large, wicker rocking chair. A candle burned next to the coffee. He read his Jerusalem Bible by the light of a lantern flame, as electricity was only an occasional visitor, dropping in and out without notice. He would read a passage and then meditate on the words.
He said he often asked, “L-rd, why am I here?” He told me there were days when he couldn’t stand Haiti. Actually, a lot of days. He admitted that working with the poor is hard. “They are always pulling at me, always needing something. Some days it’s hard to get out, because so many are waiting outside the gate to ask me for something.” He said he would not survive without his early morning prayer time. “Some days I tell G-d I can’t get through another day.” At night, he returned to the chapel before going to bed, and thanked G-d for getting him through another day.
He still says Mass every morning at 6:30 in the nearby convent. “It’s like having a strong cup of coffee,” he said, which helps him get through the day. There would be many more tough days, as the earthquake destroyed his house, injuring him and killing two seminarians.
Confidence in G-d.
Cité Soleil, he said, has taught him there is no individual survival. “But the culture says we should know what we are doing all the time, you should be in control, self-sufficient. Well, that’s the advice of a fool.
“We are three-dimensional, we need to love ourselves, others and G-d all at the same time, which creates a synergism of love. Without any of those three dimensions, we become less human, less alive. All the evils of the world, I think, have been caused by one-dimensional people, people just focused on themselves. The culture is forcing us to be one-dimensional people.”
I asked Fr, Tom about Salesian spirituality. He said that according to St. Francis de Sales, everyone needed to have confidence in G-d. But if you don’t have confidence, tell G-d you don’t have confidence because it is really G-d’s problem. The priest added, almost with a chuckle, “Sometimes I am ready to say to the L-rd, ‘I’m losing confidence in you, too, where the heck have you been?’ ” But Francis de Sales’ point was more profound. He said, “You just know that the same loving G-d who took care of you yesterday will take care of you today and will take care of you tomorrow. So what you really have is what I call a positive arrogance. You wake up and know nothing will bother you. The spirituality of St. Francis de Sales is really about taking every moment as they come.”
In the aftermath of the earthquake, he uses a tiny temporary office, just barely large enough to fit a desk for his computer, a chair and a few cabinets. On one wall hangs a crucifix that seems to contain the story of the earthquake in all its agony. The crucifix once hung in the bedroom of the priest’s parents. It was fairly large, perhaps about 2 feet tall. After the death of his parents, he has always had the crucifix with him, no matter his assignment. In Haiti, it hung in the chapel inside his home.
When the quake destroyed his home along with most of the schools and other facilities that he had built over the years, the crucifix was hidden in the rubble. When it was pulled out, the Christ figure was missing its arms and legs. All that remained were thin strands of metal that formed the figure’s extremities. “In a country where so many people lost arms and legs, the figure was a disturbingly fitting symbol”, he said. “For me, the wounded crucifix perfectly represented the tragedy that had befallen the nation of Haiti”.
Ray of light.
In a world of shadows and despair, he is a gentle ray of light and hope.
He said, “Coming out of a collapsing building, hearing the cries and screams of those still trapped, has changed the way I look at things. Life has become more simplified. I can’t think of all the things I’ve lost or I’d be sad about it. The earthquake has made me become more detached from things I thought were important. I trust in G-d’s love. G-d does not want to hear about my aches and pains.”
He lamented that so much of the relief effort has excluded the Haitian people in the planning. “We are not going to make anyone’s life any better. We impose so much without asking actual Haitians what they need. But the longer I am here, the less I know. I feel strongly that we can do a great deal of harm with the best intentions when we begin to be the benefactor. Even with all this aid coming in, we must go slowly, and every step of the way we must include the Haitians in the decision-making.”
In the end, it seems, poverty is more than a lack of food and work. Poverty is a force that destroys the unity of the human family by dividing us into camps of those who have and those who don’t have. And between the rich and the poor, there is an impenetrable wall that separates us. That scandalous wall must come down. This humble man has taught me so much. One man, on a selfless mission; if only more people could care like he does. Proof of strength granted because of faith. G-d will always be everywhere we go and we will see Him if we believe. Please pray for all of Haiti and for men and women like Fr. Tom. Without them, Haiti would be lost.
I am a Human Rights Lawyer and have helped in slums like this all over the world; I have been helping in Haiti for the last eight months. It has become a horror story laced with rodents, roaches, ants and mosquitoes. Life without running water and electricity is exhausting. The stench of human waste and rotting garbage is inescapable. Violence and corruption are commonplace. We recently decided to stay and help out in an area known as Girardo-ville. Access to the heart of the slum is limited to one unpaved road that is almost impassable. The difficult physical journey out of the slum is symbolic of the even more difficult journey out of hopelessness in a city where death and disease linger everywhere in the toxic air.
One night, I became very sick. I awoke in the middle of the night shivering from the cold even though the night air was still very warm. I was running a fever and was wet from perspiration. I could not stop coughing. I became anxious when I realized there was no way out of Girardo-ville at night, and I had no access to help. The thought occurred to me that when people get sick here, especially at night, they die. It is that simple. Residents of this slum have nowhere to go for help; even if they did, they have no money to pay for medical treatment. Curable illnesses, such as malaria and pneumonia, quickly turn into death sentences.
In this place of overwhelming need, I faced my own emptiness and limitations. I faced my own dark side, my own deep poverty and loneliness, my own weaknesses and doubts. At the same time, in this dysfunctional city where extreme chaos and suffering are the foundation of every day, I found beauty, grace and a new way to look at life. This slum became a place of personal transfiguration. Haiti can change a person.
From my perspective, the situation in Haiti seems to be getting worse. There are still a million homeless people in Port-au-Prince. Tents are everywhere. They line the streets, they fill the fields and are jammed into every open space. After eight months, many tents are becoming frayed from the intensity of the sun and the nightly rain storms. Infectious diseases are spreading like wildfire. Violence against women is rising steadily. People are bathing in the streets. The rubble from the collapsed buildings is everywhere.
We met an amazing man - Fr. Tom
Nearly 20 years ago, a man walked into a lawless nightmare under the sun, a gentle, humble, funny man from USA. A former chaplain at Princeton University in New Jersey, he seemed ill-suited by temperament and training to be a beacon of hope in such a hopeless and violent place. His name is Fr. Tom. A member of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, Fr. Tom is the embodiment of the luminous force of intentional kindness and compassion.
He lives, not for himself, but for the forgotten and anguished people of Cité Soleil, a massive slum located on the margins of Port-au-Prince. He does so at great risk to his own life. He, with his dog, Julia, at his side, daily confronts the countless trials of slum life as he tries to comfort, encourage, educate, feed and care for the victims of oppression living in the shadow of death known as Cité Soleil. The first time we walked together through Cité Soleil, he turned to me and said, “In this neighborhood just because you are with me doesn’t make it safe. Someone put a gun to my head here just a few weeks ago.” Daily life in Cité Soleil is dominated by duplicity, fear, ambition, jealousy, rivalry, rumor, false per-ceptions, and slander. A current of violence flows just beneath the surface of it all. He has paid a huge price for trying to bring relief to desperate people of Cité Soleil. In his 16 years in the slum, more than 20 of his staff and volunteers have been murdered.
Half the newborn children in the slum will die before they reach the age of 5. At night, some kids are forced to stay up all night and beat the rats away with sticks. In Haiti, corruption and violence abound. The government is dysfunctional and out of money. Garbage is piled up in the streets and alleys. There is virtually no electrical power; people without a generator spend the night in the dark. Hunger and starvation are rampant. People live in unimaginable squalor and eat mud cakes made from clay, dirt, spices and sugar and contaminated sewage water. All of these shocking conditions existed before the earthquake. The grim, deadly and dangerous environment was made monstrously worse afterward.
Throughout his years in Haiti, he has been vigilant in protecting his morning time of solitude with G-d. Before the earthquake he used to get up every morning at 4:15. He would head straight for the kitchen to make some coffee in a small percolator. Then he would take the pot and a cup to the little chapel on the second floor. The walls were decorated with folk-art paintings of saints and people who had been murdered in Cité Soleil while serving with him. This was the most important part of his day, he said, and he jealously guarded this time of stillness and silence. He placed the coffeepot and cup on a small table next to his large, wicker rocking chair. A candle burned next to the coffee. He read his Jerusalem Bible by the light of a lantern flame, as electricity was only an occasional visitor, dropping in and out without notice. He would read a passage and then meditate on the words.
He said he often asked, “L-rd, why am I here?” He told me there were days when he couldn’t stand Haiti. Actually, a lot of days. He admitted that working with the poor is hard. “They are always pulling at me, always needing something. Some days it’s hard to get out, because so many are waiting outside the gate to ask me for something.” He said he would not survive without his early morning prayer time. “Some days I tell G-d I can’t get through another day.” At night, he returned to the chapel before going to bed, and thanked G-d for getting him through another day.
He still says Mass every morning at 6:30 in the nearby convent. “It’s like having a strong cup of coffee,” he said, which helps him get through the day. There would be many more tough days, as the earthquake destroyed his house, injuring him and killing two seminarians.
Confidence in G-d.
Cité Soleil, he said, has taught him there is no individual survival. “But the culture says we should know what we are doing all the time, you should be in control, self-sufficient. Well, that’s the advice of a fool.
“We are three-dimensional, we need to love ourselves, others and G-d all at the same time, which creates a synergism of love. Without any of those three dimensions, we become less human, less alive. All the evils of the world, I think, have been caused by one-dimensional people, people just focused on themselves. The culture is forcing us to be one-dimensional people.”
I asked Fr, Tom about Salesian spirituality. He said that according to St. Francis de Sales, everyone needed to have confidence in G-d. But if you don’t have confidence, tell G-d you don’t have confidence because it is really G-d’s problem. The priest added, almost with a chuckle, “Sometimes I am ready to say to the L-rd, ‘I’m losing confidence in you, too, where the heck have you been?’ ” But Francis de Sales’ point was more profound. He said, “You just know that the same loving G-d who took care of you yesterday will take care of you today and will take care of you tomorrow. So what you really have is what I call a positive arrogance. You wake up and know nothing will bother you. The spirituality of St. Francis de Sales is really about taking every moment as they come.”
In the aftermath of the earthquake, he uses a tiny temporary office, just barely large enough to fit a desk for his computer, a chair and a few cabinets. On one wall hangs a crucifix that seems to contain the story of the earthquake in all its agony. The crucifix once hung in the bedroom of the priest’s parents. It was fairly large, perhaps about 2 feet tall. After the death of his parents, he has always had the crucifix with him, no matter his assignment. In Haiti, it hung in the chapel inside his home.
When the quake destroyed his home along with most of the schools and other facilities that he had built over the years, the crucifix was hidden in the rubble. When it was pulled out, the Christ figure was missing its arms and legs. All that remained were thin strands of metal that formed the figure’s extremities. “In a country where so many people lost arms and legs, the figure was a disturbingly fitting symbol”, he said. “For me, the wounded crucifix perfectly represented the tragedy that had befallen the nation of Haiti”.
Ray of light.
In a world of shadows and despair, he is a gentle ray of light and hope.
He said, “Coming out of a collapsing building, hearing the cries and screams of those still trapped, has changed the way I look at things. Life has become more simplified. I can’t think of all the things I’ve lost or I’d be sad about it. The earthquake has made me become more detached from things I thought were important. I trust in G-d’s love. G-d does not want to hear about my aches and pains.”
He lamented that so much of the relief effort has excluded the Haitian people in the planning. “We are not going to make anyone’s life any better. We impose so much without asking actual Haitians what they need. But the longer I am here, the less I know. I feel strongly that we can do a great deal of harm with the best intentions when we begin to be the benefactor. Even with all this aid coming in, we must go slowly, and every step of the way we must include the Haitians in the decision-making.”
In the end, it seems, poverty is more than a lack of food and work. Poverty is a force that destroys the unity of the human family by dividing us into camps of those who have and those who don’t have. And between the rich and the poor, there is an impenetrable wall that separates us. That scandalous wall must come down. This humble man has taught me so much. One man, on a selfless mission; if only more people could care like he does. Proof of strength granted because of faith. G-d will always be everywhere we go and we will see Him if we believe. Please pray for all of Haiti and for men and women like Fr. Tom. Without them, Haiti would be lost.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Who Are We?
Humans are the only creatures on earth - at least this is what humans think - who are aware of their own mortality. We are finite, & being conscious of our finitude we quest for immortality.
True, on one level we realize that even after our physical demise we will continue to exist as part of the whole, as part of the ecosystem. And we understand that just as the whole of the universe can never be lost; matter can not fall out of the universe, & the idea of total annihilation is scientifically & logically impossible, but that perpetuation is not us. What we want to know is, will we - who we are now, exist eternally & individually? And if so, how?
What is the future if not a distant present. What is now may well be a harbinger of what will be. If we wish to know what will be, we must delve deeper into what is. What becomes of us after the mortal body passes on? This question is but an extension of the broader question, who are we?
Our physical life journey begins at conception; we develop rapidly as an embryo in our mother’s womb. A miniscule germ of possibility, but in no way inanimate or unintelligent. In the Talmudic tradition we are told that prior to birth, we are infused with the totality of wisdom. We are trained to gather information from within. The underlying premise being, that what we know is already given to us, & not apprehended through our senses. We are sensitized to our inner voice, our soul. Yet, at the awesome moment of birth an angel appears & gently presses the upper lip causing an indentation & the erasure of all memory.
We open our eyes & find ourselves in an Olam Haphuch - an inverted world. Here we are told that only that which can be felt with our physical senses, is reality. Slowly, with the relentless passing of time, we become an intimate part of this three dimensional universe, where what is real must also be physical. We believe that only that which can be seen is the absolute truth. Our senses become our source of knowledge.
As young children we develop self-awareness, we explore our growing body in awe. We are told that this appendage is called a hand, while this is a foot, & so on. Each part is categorized & labeled. We are fascinated by our discoveries, & as we grow older, our fascination takes on a form of worship. We look deeply into the mirror & see only our body, the soul has been forgotten. We begin to identify with the bulb that carriers the light, instead of seeing ourselves as the light which the bulb is but a vehicle.
Inside, while in the embrace of the womb, we knew with certainty that we are more than physicality. We knew, long before our bodies were fully formed, that the body is but a shell, a temporary habitat for the soul.
The Empiricists did not have it quite right. The mind - psyche - soul is not “a blank sheet of paper upon which experience alone can subsequently write.” Rather, ‘essence precedes existence.’ Each person is born with a distinct soul. The soul is our higher self, the self of our potential and possibilities, the part of us that stands above ego, selfishness, aggression & resentment. Our soul is the one who observes life, the inner self that witnesses your life. The soul is the background of our being, the light that masters our thoughts, emotions & actions. And this soul, which is who we really are, is paradoxically a colored sheet of paper - an essence, upon which life’s experiences will write & can brighten. So who are we now? We are the space in which life experiences occur, we are the sum total of soul plus life experience.
The dilemma of death, & the age-old question of what becomes of us in that ‘final’ state, is almost superfluous, for we are a soul, & that soul is eternal. We are born with our unique & immortal soul, it is who we really are, & our souls live on forever. Throughout the journey of life, the essence of who we are, our soul, accumulates experiences; knowledge, feelings, relationships & all that made us uniquely individual. When a person’s body ceases to function, the loss is only of the physical vehicle. The corporeal entity which gave the soul the opportunity to materialize actions & accomplish physical deeds experiences a rearrangement of its elements. Yet, what lives on, as an individual, is our soul.
Death is a retransformation to the original state of soul, with a difference, however. The soul is now an individual person’s unique soul, replete with life experience, as distinct as the one who possessed it. The symphony of our life experiences is indelibly imprinted in our memory. This memory lives on as part of the collective memory of the omnipresence, in the spiritual state of Bina. Paradoxically, in this lofty condition, the individual soul continues to exist as both part of the whole, part of The Infinite, while maintaining its finitude & individuality. This contradiction violates our linear way of thinking, & seems to us illogical. Welcome to a universe of spirituality where anomaly is logical & parody reasonable.
It is empowering & true, that when we deeply desire a glimpse into that universe, we need only live life today in an integrated & harmonious way, & as such, experience the future within the present. We have the power to see a world bathed in the infinite, if we but expand our vision & cleanse the doors of our perception. To observe as a poet once did, “a world in a Grain of Sand / & a Heaven in a Wild Flower / Hold infinity in the palm of your hand / & eternity in an hour.”
G-d Bless.
J
True, on one level we realize that even after our physical demise we will continue to exist as part of the whole, as part of the ecosystem. And we understand that just as the whole of the universe can never be lost; matter can not fall out of the universe, & the idea of total annihilation is scientifically & logically impossible, but that perpetuation is not us. What we want to know is, will we - who we are now, exist eternally & individually? And if so, how?
What is the future if not a distant present. What is now may well be a harbinger of what will be. If we wish to know what will be, we must delve deeper into what is. What becomes of us after the mortal body passes on? This question is but an extension of the broader question, who are we?
Our physical life journey begins at conception; we develop rapidly as an embryo in our mother’s womb. A miniscule germ of possibility, but in no way inanimate or unintelligent. In the Talmudic tradition we are told that prior to birth, we are infused with the totality of wisdom. We are trained to gather information from within. The underlying premise being, that what we know is already given to us, & not apprehended through our senses. We are sensitized to our inner voice, our soul. Yet, at the awesome moment of birth an angel appears & gently presses the upper lip causing an indentation & the erasure of all memory.
We open our eyes & find ourselves in an Olam Haphuch - an inverted world. Here we are told that only that which can be felt with our physical senses, is reality. Slowly, with the relentless passing of time, we become an intimate part of this three dimensional universe, where what is real must also be physical. We believe that only that which can be seen is the absolute truth. Our senses become our source of knowledge.
As young children we develop self-awareness, we explore our growing body in awe. We are told that this appendage is called a hand, while this is a foot, & so on. Each part is categorized & labeled. We are fascinated by our discoveries, & as we grow older, our fascination takes on a form of worship. We look deeply into the mirror & see only our body, the soul has been forgotten. We begin to identify with the bulb that carriers the light, instead of seeing ourselves as the light which the bulb is but a vehicle.
Inside, while in the embrace of the womb, we knew with certainty that we are more than physicality. We knew, long before our bodies were fully formed, that the body is but a shell, a temporary habitat for the soul.
The Empiricists did not have it quite right. The mind - psyche - soul is not “a blank sheet of paper upon which experience alone can subsequently write.” Rather, ‘essence precedes existence.’ Each person is born with a distinct soul. The soul is our higher self, the self of our potential and possibilities, the part of us that stands above ego, selfishness, aggression & resentment. Our soul is the one who observes life, the inner self that witnesses your life. The soul is the background of our being, the light that masters our thoughts, emotions & actions. And this soul, which is who we really are, is paradoxically a colored sheet of paper - an essence, upon which life’s experiences will write & can brighten. So who are we now? We are the space in which life experiences occur, we are the sum total of soul plus life experience.
The dilemma of death, & the age-old question of what becomes of us in that ‘final’ state, is almost superfluous, for we are a soul, & that soul is eternal. We are born with our unique & immortal soul, it is who we really are, & our souls live on forever. Throughout the journey of life, the essence of who we are, our soul, accumulates experiences; knowledge, feelings, relationships & all that made us uniquely individual. When a person’s body ceases to function, the loss is only of the physical vehicle. The corporeal entity which gave the soul the opportunity to materialize actions & accomplish physical deeds experiences a rearrangement of its elements. Yet, what lives on, as an individual, is our soul.
Death is a retransformation to the original state of soul, with a difference, however. The soul is now an individual person’s unique soul, replete with life experience, as distinct as the one who possessed it. The symphony of our life experiences is indelibly imprinted in our memory. This memory lives on as part of the collective memory of the omnipresence, in the spiritual state of Bina. Paradoxically, in this lofty condition, the individual soul continues to exist as both part of the whole, part of The Infinite, while maintaining its finitude & individuality. This contradiction violates our linear way of thinking, & seems to us illogical. Welcome to a universe of spirituality where anomaly is logical & parody reasonable.
It is empowering & true, that when we deeply desire a glimpse into that universe, we need only live life today in an integrated & harmonious way, & as such, experience the future within the present. We have the power to see a world bathed in the infinite, if we but expand our vision & cleanse the doors of our perception. To observe as a poet once did, “a world in a Grain of Sand / & a Heaven in a Wild Flower / Hold infinity in the palm of your hand / & eternity in an hour.”
G-d Bless.
J
Reaching a Deeper Understanding of Self
Who are we? & what constitutes our beingness?
This is the most essential of all existential issues. To begin to discover who we are let us start examining that which is the most apparent, & most manifest, our bodies. In truth, to many people the physical physic is a major component in their self evaluation & value. The better & more beautiful their bodies appear the more confident they are, & visa versa. But what is the body? In its widest definition the body can be viewed as a collection of cells working in harmony to form a larger unit we call body. Simply & candidly put; the body is nothing more than a grand total of some one hundred & fifty pounds of protoplasm that we see, feel, & touch, & maneuver to do as we desire.
But can this be the real you?
More pointedly, towards which body part can we point to & accurately say that if we lose that physical property we will become less of who we are now. Say a person loses a limb, a hand or foot for example does that person in any way become ‘less’ the person he was prior to the injury? Certainly not, so then, what is the real you? If you are not defined by your arms, legs, toes & fingers than why assume that you are the sum total of these individual fragments.
For argument’s sake, one can still insist that indeed we are the sum total of all the parts of the body. Individually the body is seen as an assemblage of loose parts but as one unit they become you & I. To counter this line of reasoning we need to contemplate the fact that the substance of every human being’s body, even a healthy & robust one, is continuously being replaced. At a sub-nuclear level the elements that make up our atoms, the quarks & gluons, are perpetually being annihilated & recreated, so we are in fact never the same body as even a moment ago. As odd as it may seem, ninety-eight percent of the atoms in your body were not there a year ago. Your skin, for instance is renewed every month, your stomach lining every four days, & the surface cells that actually contact food every five minutes.
Being that the body is ceaselessly being altered & remade it would seem odd to acquire a sense of identity & selfhood from that which wavers & is unstable, thus the body on its own is somewhat ruled out. The body is ephemeral by its very nature. Even the brain, the storage house of all experiences & knowledge is in a state of continued flux. As such, the challenge becomes to discover is that which is lasting, permanent, & unchangeable; that which exists as the background & also the thread that runs through all of life, & the ‘thing’ that experiences the various changes one encounters throughout life.
Additionally, from the fact that we can feel & are aware of body is the greatest confirmation that we are not body; that which can be felt is not the feeler as that which can be observed is not the observer. We cannot be that which we are conscious of. When observing some object or thinking of it, you cannot be that object as you are separate from it. If you think about your body it means that something separate from it is doing the thinking. So while we are not our bodies & it is merely a part of us, who are we?
In the quest for self-discovery the challenge becomes to locate & identify the experience’r & the feeler, & not the manifestations, as the experience or the feeling. And ‘what’ is that? The soul. Our soul, is the unchanging that registers the changing, the continuous that observes the discontinuous, the uninfluenced that informs the influenced. As the body’s cells are constantly being modified & changing so are our emotions, thoughts & feelings, but the you within us, the essential self remains the same. The I within is eternal. Everything else comes & goes, but our ‘I’, the feeling of being alive, when not identified or blended with anything such as body, thought, or feeling, is always the same, never shifting & never modified.
Soul is who we are; it is the part of us that is not temporal or spatial housed in a three dimensional reality, nor is it subjective or dependent of the externals. It is the deeper ‘I’ that is independent of environmental influence or physical identity. It is the internal I; the I that was there when you were young & said “I am young” the I that was there when you grew a bit older & said “I am middle aged” & the I that is there when you said “I am old.” The perennial I, the soul. The soul is the deeper inner Self which incorporates all levels of beingness, including the small surface I of selfhood. It is the ultimate of all reality & the true I of existence.
From times of antiquity man in his search for ‘self’, has come to describe that unchangeable divine property within in various names, ranging from the soul, the psyche, the light, anima, sarira, naf, to the more modern terms like, the force, our center or ground of being, life energy, yet, for the most part they describe or wish to describe the same underlying pulsating reality. The soul, as we tend to call it is a spiritual unique manifestation, with a distinct individual ‘personality,’ & it is through the lens of our ‘individuated’ soul energy that we come to experience life. The path toward self-actualization & fulfillment is found in this discovery; the unearthing & living in accordance to the ‘finite’ spark of the divine that is distinctly made present in our own lives. The fullness of the I of the world, the infinite is revealed beautifully in the individual finite I-ness of self.
Essentially, our soul is not something we possess but who we are. It does not belong to the person rather it is the person. The soul is the higher self. It is the self of our potential & possibility, the part of us that stands above ego, selfishness, aggression & resentment. The soul is the background of our being, the light that masters our thoughts, emotions & actions, & effectively the whole of life.
The soul is the observer of life, the essence deep within that views life & witnesses our life unfold. Certainly, the known cannot be the knower. If you know your thoughts then you cannot be your thoughts. If you know your passions, emotions, desires, you cannot be that either. An important medieval philosophical/ethical text, attributed to the twelve-century French Rabbi, Rabbeinu Tam, writes that the soul is the knower of the known. In other words, the soul is the small voice beyond the mind that tells the conscious mind to think, feel or act.
Anyone who has ever dabbled in meditative techniques or for that matter in the philosophy & mechanics of the mind knows that the mind appears to have a mind on its own, & there are levels beyond levels within the mind itself. When a person tells himself to think a particular thought it is one level of mind telling the more apparent level to think. And yet, having this awareness tells us that there is still a deeper level of mind that experiences this consciousness. This mental exercise can literally extend itself to no end, nonetheless, at its deepest, it is the essence of Self - the only I there really is who governs & instructs the I of small self.
Take a moment & try to be aware of the wall in front of you. Now, be aware of that level of mind that is aware of the wall. Then go a little further & try to be aware of that which is aware. You can apparently do this exercise infinitely until you reach a point where you realize that there is a part deep within that is, as some tend to call it, the absolute self, or the pure witness. This can never truly be grasped because it is what grasps. It can never truly be understood because it is the understander, it cannot be known on an intellectual level, for it is the knower of knowledge.
In it’s highest deepest & most pristine form the soul, the higher self is part of the divine I, part of the reality where the knower & the known are one of the same, as the Rambam - Maimonides ‘describes’ the Ultimate & Unconditional Beingness. It is part of a reality where the experience & the experiencer the observed & the observer are one & the same. Rooted in a ‘place’ beyond duality, polarity, separation or contextualization.
As the Creator who defies & transcends human logic, the soul as well being part & an individual expression of this truth embodies the paradoxical & its ‘entity’ is oxymoronic, at least to the human small mind constricted reality. The soul is both infinite & finite in its properties & expression. As challenging as it may be to intellectually grasp the soul is simply a finite sliver of the infinite, a holographic particle of infinitude. Perhaps this conception violates our way of thinking, & it does so because the brain is basically a binary instrument. For the brain it’s either up or down, left or right, 0 or 1, but never both at once, but this is only a limit to the physical brain which has difficulties navigating or interacting with a universe that allows for contradictory coexistence. On a simple level this means that though each soul is rooted & sourced in genuine oneness, nonetheless, as it emerges, while it still sparkles with infinitude it also becomes quite distinct, unique, & descends as the individual soul to embody one particular human form.
Pulsating within each of us is a Self that is uniquely us. Each person has distinctive unmatched & unparalleled characteristics of soul personality. In the afterlife, the celebrated Chassidic sage, R. Zusia of Anipoli said, I will not be asked “why were you not like Moses?’ rather, the question will be “why were you not like Zusia?” Why did you not reach your own full potential? No two people are alike spiritually, & as physical representation of the spirit even physically. Everyone, in his own way is exceptional and unique; each soul demands to be expressed & experienced differently. Every human being has a unique spiritual vocation to be fulfilled that only that person can fulfill it.
Our individual & particular way we experience life is a result of the individuality of our soul. Not only do we see the world around us through the lenses of our own distinct soul, but the world around us is also affected & influenced by the uniqueness of our soul. Whoever & whatever a person connects with emotionally or intellectually, physically or mentally he indelibly imprints his ‘personality’ of soul on those people & those events. Every relationship we entertain becomes colored & tainted - hopefully for the better with our personality & soul individuality.
Scientific exploration & advancement has come a long way. Today we have computers, which are essentially artificial intelligence that can solve mathematical riddles & win chess games against the best & brightest of human chess players. Yet for all that A.I. can do it still lacks a human soul. A self-enclosed machine lacks the ability to go outside itself & judge. A.I., can perhaps know how to react & what to do in a certain situations, but it will never know why it reacts this way & not in another way. It is deficient of what some philosophers call “qualia” incapable of having pleasure, desire, anxieties or hope. True, it can carry out brilliant arithmetic calculations & can play a wicked game of chess; still, while it plays does it know anything of playfulness? Does it get excited by wining or agitated when losing? Does it worry about its next move, or regret its previous ones?
Extending this idea a bit further we come to the realization that the various ‘things’ that make us human & demonstrate our humanity, primarily our emotions are experienced by each of us quite differently. No, it is wrong to assume that “all happy families are alike.” Happiness as sadness or for that matter the whole gamut of human emotions & feelings are unique, singular, & felt by each of us in our very own distinct way.
It should only be added, though at its core the soul is unchangeable & it is the element of permanence that runs through life, the manifestations of soul are certainly not static, stagnant, & non-fluid, & clearly they are not a ‘thing’, as in a noun. The more dense levels of soul, those aspects that are more present as everyday consciousness are continuously expanding via our life experiences. The more outer dimensionally related parts of soul are in a perpetual state of flux & growth.
True, what defines us is our soul, yet another valid truth is that we are a psychosomatic being, comprised of soul & body. Part of who we are is a reflection or a result of the body we possess. On some level, we are who we are because or despite the bodies we posses. Take for example short people; some short people tend to be more introverted & timid because of their physical contour, & some short people act quite the opposite, in despite, & ‘suffer’ from what is referred to as a Napoleon complex. Mentally, the shaping of ones’ internal personality maybe forged by physical appearance; heavy thin, tall short, black white. How they look, or perceive themselves to look affects the way they feel about themselves, for better & for worse.
In all honesty, whether our personality is a result or despite physical appearance & a facelift or the like will make us feel differently, or alternatively, our physical presentation is a manifestation of personality & on its deepest level a physical materialization of the soul, depends on us. It reflects whether we choose to live life from the inside-out or from the outside-in. People who live from the inside out, harmoniously, & in an integrated manner their physical form will be an accurate representation of their spiritual form, the body will reflect soul. By its very nature, the body is a physical representation of the inner pattern of the soul that animates it; the question is only, whether we live in concurrent to that level or not. When we do live from the inside-out & cultivates a healthy internal outlook the result may in fact be apparent on our physical posture.
All & all, the body is not a prison house for the soul. The body is not, by its created nature an alien abode that oppresses or stifles the spirit; rather “the bodies of the upright are holy.” The Creators infinite presence is to be found everywhere, from the sublime to the mundane, from the spiritual to the physical, even in a coarse matter such as corporal existence. The body is, at least in its natural & original form a physical expression of the spirit that animates it & gives it life.
Body & soul can & should be the best of friends. When the body & soul work in unison, when they are both engaged in positive acts & thoughts then the body can be a vehicle to experience freedom, when the converse occurs the body becomes a prison house, an unfriendly place instead of a friendly one.
Genuine integration & wholeness is achieved when we come to view, both the body & soul in the light of their respected purposes. Spiritual equilibrium is attained when there is harmony & symmetry between the various aspects of our personality; when the physical self/body expresses the spiritual self/ soul, & when the body is seen not as a hindrance or shackle biding the spirit, rather a vehicle for the most powerful of soul expression.
The self is a beautiful synthesis of body & soul, our ego & transcendence, the finite matter & the infinite spirit, the temporal material & the eternal spiritual, & a realized selfhood can only be complete when we are fully aligned & create a perfect harmony between all aspects of our selves, when we are fully present, & our I-ness is effusively lived on all levels of existence. When we do so, the ‘perfect self’ is expressed, & we become fully aware & realize how our I is one with the I of all reality & all existence.
G-d Bless.
J
This is the most essential of all existential issues. To begin to discover who we are let us start examining that which is the most apparent, & most manifest, our bodies. In truth, to many people the physical physic is a major component in their self evaluation & value. The better & more beautiful their bodies appear the more confident they are, & visa versa. But what is the body? In its widest definition the body can be viewed as a collection of cells working in harmony to form a larger unit we call body. Simply & candidly put; the body is nothing more than a grand total of some one hundred & fifty pounds of protoplasm that we see, feel, & touch, & maneuver to do as we desire.
But can this be the real you?
More pointedly, towards which body part can we point to & accurately say that if we lose that physical property we will become less of who we are now. Say a person loses a limb, a hand or foot for example does that person in any way become ‘less’ the person he was prior to the injury? Certainly not, so then, what is the real you? If you are not defined by your arms, legs, toes & fingers than why assume that you are the sum total of these individual fragments.
For argument’s sake, one can still insist that indeed we are the sum total of all the parts of the body. Individually the body is seen as an assemblage of loose parts but as one unit they become you & I. To counter this line of reasoning we need to contemplate the fact that the substance of every human being’s body, even a healthy & robust one, is continuously being replaced. At a sub-nuclear level the elements that make up our atoms, the quarks & gluons, are perpetually being annihilated & recreated, so we are in fact never the same body as even a moment ago. As odd as it may seem, ninety-eight percent of the atoms in your body were not there a year ago. Your skin, for instance is renewed every month, your stomach lining every four days, & the surface cells that actually contact food every five minutes.
Being that the body is ceaselessly being altered & remade it would seem odd to acquire a sense of identity & selfhood from that which wavers & is unstable, thus the body on its own is somewhat ruled out. The body is ephemeral by its very nature. Even the brain, the storage house of all experiences & knowledge is in a state of continued flux. As such, the challenge becomes to discover is that which is lasting, permanent, & unchangeable; that which exists as the background & also the thread that runs through all of life, & the ‘thing’ that experiences the various changes one encounters throughout life.
Additionally, from the fact that we can feel & are aware of body is the greatest confirmation that we are not body; that which can be felt is not the feeler as that which can be observed is not the observer. We cannot be that which we are conscious of. When observing some object or thinking of it, you cannot be that object as you are separate from it. If you think about your body it means that something separate from it is doing the thinking. So while we are not our bodies & it is merely a part of us, who are we?
In the quest for self-discovery the challenge becomes to locate & identify the experience’r & the feeler, & not the manifestations, as the experience or the feeling. And ‘what’ is that? The soul. Our soul, is the unchanging that registers the changing, the continuous that observes the discontinuous, the uninfluenced that informs the influenced. As the body’s cells are constantly being modified & changing so are our emotions, thoughts & feelings, but the you within us, the essential self remains the same. The I within is eternal. Everything else comes & goes, but our ‘I’, the feeling of being alive, when not identified or blended with anything such as body, thought, or feeling, is always the same, never shifting & never modified.
Soul is who we are; it is the part of us that is not temporal or spatial housed in a three dimensional reality, nor is it subjective or dependent of the externals. It is the deeper ‘I’ that is independent of environmental influence or physical identity. It is the internal I; the I that was there when you were young & said “I am young” the I that was there when you grew a bit older & said “I am middle aged” & the I that is there when you said “I am old.” The perennial I, the soul. The soul is the deeper inner Self which incorporates all levels of beingness, including the small surface I of selfhood. It is the ultimate of all reality & the true I of existence.
From times of antiquity man in his search for ‘self’, has come to describe that unchangeable divine property within in various names, ranging from the soul, the psyche, the light, anima, sarira, naf, to the more modern terms like, the force, our center or ground of being, life energy, yet, for the most part they describe or wish to describe the same underlying pulsating reality. The soul, as we tend to call it is a spiritual unique manifestation, with a distinct individual ‘personality,’ & it is through the lens of our ‘individuated’ soul energy that we come to experience life. The path toward self-actualization & fulfillment is found in this discovery; the unearthing & living in accordance to the ‘finite’ spark of the divine that is distinctly made present in our own lives. The fullness of the I of the world, the infinite is revealed beautifully in the individual finite I-ness of self.
Essentially, our soul is not something we possess but who we are. It does not belong to the person rather it is the person. The soul is the higher self. It is the self of our potential & possibility, the part of us that stands above ego, selfishness, aggression & resentment. The soul is the background of our being, the light that masters our thoughts, emotions & actions, & effectively the whole of life.
The soul is the observer of life, the essence deep within that views life & witnesses our life unfold. Certainly, the known cannot be the knower. If you know your thoughts then you cannot be your thoughts. If you know your passions, emotions, desires, you cannot be that either. An important medieval philosophical/ethical text, attributed to the twelve-century French Rabbi, Rabbeinu Tam, writes that the soul is the knower of the known. In other words, the soul is the small voice beyond the mind that tells the conscious mind to think, feel or act.
Anyone who has ever dabbled in meditative techniques or for that matter in the philosophy & mechanics of the mind knows that the mind appears to have a mind on its own, & there are levels beyond levels within the mind itself. When a person tells himself to think a particular thought it is one level of mind telling the more apparent level to think. And yet, having this awareness tells us that there is still a deeper level of mind that experiences this consciousness. This mental exercise can literally extend itself to no end, nonetheless, at its deepest, it is the essence of Self - the only I there really is who governs & instructs the I of small self.
Take a moment & try to be aware of the wall in front of you. Now, be aware of that level of mind that is aware of the wall. Then go a little further & try to be aware of that which is aware. You can apparently do this exercise infinitely until you reach a point where you realize that there is a part deep within that is, as some tend to call it, the absolute self, or the pure witness. This can never truly be grasped because it is what grasps. It can never truly be understood because it is the understander, it cannot be known on an intellectual level, for it is the knower of knowledge.
In it’s highest deepest & most pristine form the soul, the higher self is part of the divine I, part of the reality where the knower & the known are one of the same, as the Rambam - Maimonides ‘describes’ the Ultimate & Unconditional Beingness. It is part of a reality where the experience & the experiencer the observed & the observer are one & the same. Rooted in a ‘place’ beyond duality, polarity, separation or contextualization.
As the Creator who defies & transcends human logic, the soul as well being part & an individual expression of this truth embodies the paradoxical & its ‘entity’ is oxymoronic, at least to the human small mind constricted reality. The soul is both infinite & finite in its properties & expression. As challenging as it may be to intellectually grasp the soul is simply a finite sliver of the infinite, a holographic particle of infinitude. Perhaps this conception violates our way of thinking, & it does so because the brain is basically a binary instrument. For the brain it’s either up or down, left or right, 0 or 1, but never both at once, but this is only a limit to the physical brain which has difficulties navigating or interacting with a universe that allows for contradictory coexistence. On a simple level this means that though each soul is rooted & sourced in genuine oneness, nonetheless, as it emerges, while it still sparkles with infinitude it also becomes quite distinct, unique, & descends as the individual soul to embody one particular human form.
Pulsating within each of us is a Self that is uniquely us. Each person has distinctive unmatched & unparalleled characteristics of soul personality. In the afterlife, the celebrated Chassidic sage, R. Zusia of Anipoli said, I will not be asked “why were you not like Moses?’ rather, the question will be “why were you not like Zusia?” Why did you not reach your own full potential? No two people are alike spiritually, & as physical representation of the spirit even physically. Everyone, in his own way is exceptional and unique; each soul demands to be expressed & experienced differently. Every human being has a unique spiritual vocation to be fulfilled that only that person can fulfill it.
Our individual & particular way we experience life is a result of the individuality of our soul. Not only do we see the world around us through the lenses of our own distinct soul, but the world around us is also affected & influenced by the uniqueness of our soul. Whoever & whatever a person connects with emotionally or intellectually, physically or mentally he indelibly imprints his ‘personality’ of soul on those people & those events. Every relationship we entertain becomes colored & tainted - hopefully for the better with our personality & soul individuality.
Scientific exploration & advancement has come a long way. Today we have computers, which are essentially artificial intelligence that can solve mathematical riddles & win chess games against the best & brightest of human chess players. Yet for all that A.I. can do it still lacks a human soul. A self-enclosed machine lacks the ability to go outside itself & judge. A.I., can perhaps know how to react & what to do in a certain situations, but it will never know why it reacts this way & not in another way. It is deficient of what some philosophers call “qualia” incapable of having pleasure, desire, anxieties or hope. True, it can carry out brilliant arithmetic calculations & can play a wicked game of chess; still, while it plays does it know anything of playfulness? Does it get excited by wining or agitated when losing? Does it worry about its next move, or regret its previous ones?
Extending this idea a bit further we come to the realization that the various ‘things’ that make us human & demonstrate our humanity, primarily our emotions are experienced by each of us quite differently. No, it is wrong to assume that “all happy families are alike.” Happiness as sadness or for that matter the whole gamut of human emotions & feelings are unique, singular, & felt by each of us in our very own distinct way.
It should only be added, though at its core the soul is unchangeable & it is the element of permanence that runs through life, the manifestations of soul are certainly not static, stagnant, & non-fluid, & clearly they are not a ‘thing’, as in a noun. The more dense levels of soul, those aspects that are more present as everyday consciousness are continuously expanding via our life experiences. The more outer dimensionally related parts of soul are in a perpetual state of flux & growth.
True, what defines us is our soul, yet another valid truth is that we are a psychosomatic being, comprised of soul & body. Part of who we are is a reflection or a result of the body we possess. On some level, we are who we are because or despite the bodies we posses. Take for example short people; some short people tend to be more introverted & timid because of their physical contour, & some short people act quite the opposite, in despite, & ‘suffer’ from what is referred to as a Napoleon complex. Mentally, the shaping of ones’ internal personality maybe forged by physical appearance; heavy thin, tall short, black white. How they look, or perceive themselves to look affects the way they feel about themselves, for better & for worse.
In all honesty, whether our personality is a result or despite physical appearance & a facelift or the like will make us feel differently, or alternatively, our physical presentation is a manifestation of personality & on its deepest level a physical materialization of the soul, depends on us. It reflects whether we choose to live life from the inside-out or from the outside-in. People who live from the inside out, harmoniously, & in an integrated manner their physical form will be an accurate representation of their spiritual form, the body will reflect soul. By its very nature, the body is a physical representation of the inner pattern of the soul that animates it; the question is only, whether we live in concurrent to that level or not. When we do live from the inside-out & cultivates a healthy internal outlook the result may in fact be apparent on our physical posture.
All & all, the body is not a prison house for the soul. The body is not, by its created nature an alien abode that oppresses or stifles the spirit; rather “the bodies of the upright are holy.” The Creators infinite presence is to be found everywhere, from the sublime to the mundane, from the spiritual to the physical, even in a coarse matter such as corporal existence. The body is, at least in its natural & original form a physical expression of the spirit that animates it & gives it life.
Body & soul can & should be the best of friends. When the body & soul work in unison, when they are both engaged in positive acts & thoughts then the body can be a vehicle to experience freedom, when the converse occurs the body becomes a prison house, an unfriendly place instead of a friendly one.
Genuine integration & wholeness is achieved when we come to view, both the body & soul in the light of their respected purposes. Spiritual equilibrium is attained when there is harmony & symmetry between the various aspects of our personality; when the physical self/body expresses the spiritual self/ soul, & when the body is seen not as a hindrance or shackle biding the spirit, rather a vehicle for the most powerful of soul expression.
The self is a beautiful synthesis of body & soul, our ego & transcendence, the finite matter & the infinite spirit, the temporal material & the eternal spiritual, & a realized selfhood can only be complete when we are fully aligned & create a perfect harmony between all aspects of our selves, when we are fully present, & our I-ness is effusively lived on all levels of existence. When we do so, the ‘perfect self’ is expressed, & we become fully aware & realize how our I is one with the I of all reality & all existence.
G-d Bless.
J
Perfecting Silence in our noisy World
Every generation defines itself in its own particular way. People who belong to a specific generation express themselves in a distinctive form; whether it is the literature & philosophy it produces or the music it creates there is always distinctiveness. Understandably, social critics & historians have always found the need to label eras, periods & groups. The twentieth century that has elapsed has been called by various names, Aldous Huxley, writing in the Nineteen Forties referred to his century as the age of noise. “The radio”, he once wrote, “is nothing but a conduit through which pre-fabricated din can flow into our homes.” If the noise was an issue years back, today with the literal explosion of modern technology, CD’s, headphones, MP3 players, & what not, clearly the noise level has been upped a thousand degrees & the bombardment of noise has become drastically augmented.
Being so surrounded, invaded & inundated with external sounds & noise many have become so accustomed to that reality to the extent of feeling a peculiar emptiness when it is quiet. Imagine yourself walking into an upscale boutique & nothing is being played on the sound system, guaranteed you will feel an awkward eeriness.
When was the last time you took a long drive alone in your car & did not immediately flip on the music? Car manufactures today pride themselves by installing satellite radio systems so we can pick up thousands of stations as we drive. When it is quiet so many urgently sense the need to fill the empty airwaves with noise.
Noise is so much a part of our life that many have become depended on it for their wellbeing. So many derive their sense of being alive from sound, & they feel empty in silence. There is a need, & almost perverse compulsion to break any silence & talk, or perhaps sing.
Underlining this urgency for noise is their fear of being alone, as if it’s even a possibility. Simply, they are afraid to be alone with themselves & certainly scared to experience a genuine self-encounter. And so they fill the airwaves with sound, for it is sound that creates the illusion of company. Even speaking to themselves will do the trick, for when they are speaking there is the impression of a speaker & listener, & that the two are separate people conversing.
The dread of being alone & being alone with their own presence can be quite devastating. Sitting relaxing in a hot tub most people almost instinctively reach for a book or the paper. We live in a culture that compels us to relentlessly ‘do’ things. Even our leisure time and vocation needs to be filled with activity, we cannot rest without going crazy. For this reason there is a multi- billion dollar industry that helps us ‘do’ things & occupy our time while on holiday.
Hitbodedut is a classical Kabbalistic term for meditation. The Hebrew root of the word is badad literally meaning to be alone, to detach yourself from noise & be with your self. In the more advanced & prophetic moods of this form of meditation hitbodedut is to seclude, separate ‘intellectual everyday consciousness from imagination’ this is referred to as hitbodedut penimit - inner isolation, but what we are speaking of presently is hitbodedut chitzonit - outer isolation. This is the practice of being alone & simply being with your self.
To practice this discipline you do not need to run away to a mountain top or go hide in a cave, in fact this aloneness can be achieved even amongst other people.
Most often going inward in the midst of being in the company of others is unkindly, rude & altogether a mark of arrogance, but sometimes you may find yourself being obligated to go to a certain social setting or another event & feel extremely uncomfortable or self-conscious. Or worse, sometimes you may find yourself in a setting where you feel that the others are merely sucking up your energy, or even worse distributing negative energy, in such situations it maybe very helpful if you are able to mentally detach yourself, go inward, & feel at ease. To be alone with yourself, free of the external forced-upon influences.
Success breads success. The only way to become comfortable with silence, on all level of silence; from words or beyond words is by practicing & further practicing stints of silence. Do not begin with fantastic grand plans of taking a full month vow of silence rather begin with a firm commitment to practice silence for a half hour a day, & then grow on your success.
Ultimately, as you become more comfortable with yourself, & in silence, when you do need to speak & verbally communicate, which speech itself is another spiritually powerful tool, you will do so wisely, mindfully & with wisdom. The periods of silence will also allow you to gain hegemony of your speech so that your words are meaningful & vested with intention.
G-d Bless.
J
Being so surrounded, invaded & inundated with external sounds & noise many have become so accustomed to that reality to the extent of feeling a peculiar emptiness when it is quiet. Imagine yourself walking into an upscale boutique & nothing is being played on the sound system, guaranteed you will feel an awkward eeriness.
When was the last time you took a long drive alone in your car & did not immediately flip on the music? Car manufactures today pride themselves by installing satellite radio systems so we can pick up thousands of stations as we drive. When it is quiet so many urgently sense the need to fill the empty airwaves with noise.
Noise is so much a part of our life that many have become depended on it for their wellbeing. So many derive their sense of being alive from sound, & they feel empty in silence. There is a need, & almost perverse compulsion to break any silence & talk, or perhaps sing.
Underlining this urgency for noise is their fear of being alone, as if it’s even a possibility. Simply, they are afraid to be alone with themselves & certainly scared to experience a genuine self-encounter. And so they fill the airwaves with sound, for it is sound that creates the illusion of company. Even speaking to themselves will do the trick, for when they are speaking there is the impression of a speaker & listener, & that the two are separate people conversing.
The dread of being alone & being alone with their own presence can be quite devastating. Sitting relaxing in a hot tub most people almost instinctively reach for a book or the paper. We live in a culture that compels us to relentlessly ‘do’ things. Even our leisure time and vocation needs to be filled with activity, we cannot rest without going crazy. For this reason there is a multi- billion dollar industry that helps us ‘do’ things & occupy our time while on holiday.
Hitbodedut is a classical Kabbalistic term for meditation. The Hebrew root of the word is badad literally meaning to be alone, to detach yourself from noise & be with your self. In the more advanced & prophetic moods of this form of meditation hitbodedut is to seclude, separate ‘intellectual everyday consciousness from imagination’ this is referred to as hitbodedut penimit - inner isolation, but what we are speaking of presently is hitbodedut chitzonit - outer isolation. This is the practice of being alone & simply being with your self.
To practice this discipline you do not need to run away to a mountain top or go hide in a cave, in fact this aloneness can be achieved even amongst other people.
Most often going inward in the midst of being in the company of others is unkindly, rude & altogether a mark of arrogance, but sometimes you may find yourself being obligated to go to a certain social setting or another event & feel extremely uncomfortable or self-conscious. Or worse, sometimes you may find yourself in a setting where you feel that the others are merely sucking up your energy, or even worse distributing negative energy, in such situations it maybe very helpful if you are able to mentally detach yourself, go inward, & feel at ease. To be alone with yourself, free of the external forced-upon influences.
Success breads success. The only way to become comfortable with silence, on all level of silence; from words or beyond words is by practicing & further practicing stints of silence. Do not begin with fantastic grand plans of taking a full month vow of silence rather begin with a firm commitment to practice silence for a half hour a day, & then grow on your success.
Ultimately, as you become more comfortable with yourself, & in silence, when you do need to speak & verbally communicate, which speech itself is another spiritually powerful tool, you will do so wisely, mindfully & with wisdom. The periods of silence will also allow you to gain hegemony of your speech so that your words are meaningful & vested with intention.
G-d Bless.
J
Teshuvah/Return
To err is human, we all make mistakes. “There is no righteous person on this earth who does (only) good & does not err,” the wise King Shlomo wrote.
And yet despite the fallibility of human beings, as a tremendous kindness, G-d has given us teshuvah - a way of returning to G-d by acknowledging our errors & resolving not to repeat them. This is not only a way to repair our mistakes but perhaps even to alter the past. Without teshuvah, life would be quite hopeless. Without a means to unshackle ourselves from our negative past, we would be forever crushed by the burdens of our past errors.
Teshuvah is essential for creation; in fact teshuvah was fashioned before the actual creation, according to the Talmud (Pesachim 54a.) The Zohar writes that prior to creating this physical world, the Creator conceived the notion of teshuvah & said, “Soon, I am going to create mortal human beings, but I do so on one condition: when they, because of their iniquities, turn to you, you must be prepared to erase their faults.”
A world imbued with teshuvah is a world of optimism, life & genuine opportunity, for regardless of our current state, we have the power to reorient our life & leap over any obstacles generated by our past deeds. Teshuvah affords us the freedom to liberate ourselves from the past & begin anew, rejuvenated & revitalized.
Regret & Acceptance
Classic Torah commentaries contend that the principal ingredients of teshuvah are regret (charata) & acceptance (Kabbalah).
True regret requires recognition of the negative act & a firm resolution - made consciously & with a whole heart - not to repeat it.
But we know well that we tend to forget our resolutions. Indeed, forgetfulness is the root cause of transgression. Often, were it not for assistance from above to overcome our negative temptations, which are so good at causing memory lapses, we would not succeed, as the Talmud tells us (Kiddushin 30b). Therefore, it is essential to always keep in mind that we are sinners - & always close to falling into transgression - & that G-d alone constantly rescues us.
But how can we, realizing that our sin is so deeply ingrained, have true regret over the past? So, too, how can we resolve not to sin in the future, when our experience shows clearly that without G-d’s help, we will certainly lapse again?
In truth, remorse over the past indicates an acute awareness of our lowliness - an awareness which must be engraved in the heart. In fact, the Hebrew word charata, meaning “remorse” is related to charitah “engraving.” Once this awareness is so engraved, we stand a better chance of never again forgetting our history & slipping. This act of engraving, in turn, creates within our hearts a receptiveness to G-d’s mercies. Thus we can accept Kabbalah, G-d’s mercy, with an absolute trust that G-d will save us from the bitterness of our soul & strengthen us to choose wisely in the future.
Four types of Teshuvah: Jewish work of ethics speak of four categories of teshuvah
1. Teshuvat HaBa’ah-literally teshuvah “of what comes next” - this teshuvah that occurs when we refrain from repeating a transgression when we find ourselves in the same condition or environment that had engendered a previous misdeed.
2. Teshuvat HaGeder - literally teshuvah “of the fence” - in the process of doing teshuvah, we erect for ourselves additional barriers & restrictions so that we may not be tempted to transgress. We deny ourselves even things that are permitted to us so that we will not inadvertently step over the line & fall.
3. Teshuvat HaMishkol - literally teshuvah “of the measure” - this is penance commensurate to the transgression. We inflict discomfort on ourselves equivalent to the measure of pleasure we had enjoyed from committing the transgression.
4. Teshuvat HaKatuv - literally teshuvah “of what is written” - we accept upon ourselves the equivalent of the Divine judgment as written & detailed in the Torah.
Teshuvah does not necessitate depriving or neglecting the body, according to the Baal Shem Tov - on the contrary, “a small hole in the body is a colossal cavity in the soul.” There are countless other means to refine ourselves such as giving charity or studying Torah. And an even better way is to transform the body so that whatever part of the body one used to commit an offense - a mouth to speak gossip or lie, a hand to strike someone - is re-energized to do good - a mouth to speak words of Torah, a hand to give to charity.
Verbal Confession
In addition to regretting past deeds & resolving to do better in the future, most commentators include confession (viddui) as another integral component of teshuvah.
Teshuvah is not complete until we articulate what went wrong in the past as well as verbally commit to change in the future. Why is this? Why do we need confession? Why is verbalization so integral to the process?
There are many reasons, but the ones we will explore are related to the Yom Kippur service, where we confess our sins a number of times. On the most basic level, speaking gives voice to our thoughts, thus making them clearer, crystallized & structured. By articulating our thoughts, we unveil a deeper understanding of the matter at hand. Thoughts, as they exist in the mind, can remain elusive & unstructured. However, when these same thoughts “descend” into articulated language, they become comprehensible & coherent.
What’s more, not only do thoughts become clearer & more comprehensive when spoken aloud, they also become more of a reality. Words create our reality. When something is verbalized it seems to us all the more real.
Verbalization of teshuvah works the same way. Until our thoughts of teshuvah that germinate in the mind are verbalized, they remain elusive & vague. Through speaking about it & concretizing our repentance, our regret & resolve become all the stronger. Speaking endows the thoughts of change with a tangible reality, & the thoughts then attain permanence.
Additionally, “voice arouses intention,” which is a principle regarding the verbalization of all prayers & the reason why prayer is spoken & not left in the mind. It is through the verbalization of teshuvah that our inner feelings of wanting to return to G-d are revealed. The more we speak about a feeling of the heart, the more augmented & real the feeling becomes, & our teshuvah becomes more intense. What’s more, even if we had not yet resolved to undertake the journey to transform, our speaking about it will eventually bring us to do it.
Yom Kippur: A day of teshuvah
Yom Kippur was chosen as a day of teshuvah because it was the original day of forgiveness at the time of the birth of the Jewish nation.
A mere six weeks following the monumental encounter with G-d at Sinai, when the absolute oneness of the Creator was clear to the Israelites, they danced around the golden calf & proclaimed, “This is the G-d that took us out of Egypt.” Forty days of prayers elicited for them forgiveness, & then Moshe went up the mountain again for forty days, & when he descended this time, with the second set of tablets, he found a people eagerly awaiting his return & the Torah he was bringing.
That day was the tenth day of the seventh month of Tishrei, the day to be designated by the Torah as Yom Kippur.
Yom Kippur became the one day of the year that embodies the concept of teshuvah most intensely. In the words of the Rambam - Maimonides: “Though teshuvah is appropriate at all times of the year, during the ten days between Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur it is more appropriate, & it is accepted immediately. Yom Kippur itself is a time of teshuvah for all, & it is a cessation of forgiveness & absolution for the people of Israel.” (Hilchos Teshuvah 2: 6-7)
Day of Atonement
“The essence of the day of Yom Kippur brings atonement,” the Talmud declares (Yuma). The day of Yom Kippur calls forth sublime measures of holiness, which are able to eclipse & eliminate all transgressions. Although the Talmudic sages wage a debate - as to whether or not the day itself absolves us even when we don’t do teshuvah - all opinions are in agreement that the essence of the day itself brings atonement. The debate is limited to the question whether the individual must set in motion this process through active participation by doing teshuvah, or if the day atones through mere passive participation by desiring teshuvah. What sense would it make to forgive an individual who makes no effort & does not even desire forgiveness?
Therefore, the bare minimum is needed - that is, we must be at least passively accepting of forgiveness, & we must not interfere with the healing power of Yom Kippur. But, in order to achieve a complete & total teshuvah, we need to partake fully in the teshuvah process. Genuine teshuvah is attained when we can fuse the inspiration from above with the perspiration from below - when the lofty levels that are revealed from on high permeate & lodge deeply into our consciousness, becoming part of our every day reality.
Shabbat Shabbaton
Yom Kippur includes both these aspects:
1. It is a time when “the essence of the day brings atonement” as a revelation of unconditional love from above
2. It is a time when we have reached the full potential of our own activities, beginning with the introspection during the month of Elul, & culminating with the end of the “ten days of awe.”
These two complimentary ideas are alluded to in the two verses in the Torah which mention Yom Kippur as a day that is a Shabbat Shabbaton - a Shabbat of total rest:
1. Shabbat Shabbaton he lachem (Leviticus 16:31), which means “A total day of rest it (literally she) will be to you”
2. Shabbat Shabbaton hu lachem (Leviticus 23:32), which means “A total day of rest it (literally he) will be to you”
Why twice - the first in feminine form, the second in masculine? The feminine represents the receiver, reflecting the one who is passively receiving revelation from above. The masculine represents a proactive stance. On Yom Kippur there is a melding of the two, beyond duality, beyond separation.
A day of transcendence/A time of immanence
On Yom Kippur, we aspire to operate on a level of transcendence, striving to mimic angelic behavior. Yom Kippur is a day of rest from normative bodily necessities. The restrictions of the day are not meant to bring suffering to the body (if inflicting pain was the intention there would be many much more effective ways of doing so), rather, the focus here is to cease operating in the normative physical sphere & ascend to function angelically. It is a day dedicated to the achievement of transcendence of the physical, as well as a transcendence of all negativity & transgression.
While every other day of the year we may struggle with our own inner Satan, on Yom Kippur, we experience a transcendence of all negativity & deprecation. The Hebrew word for Satan, ha’satan, which describes confining ego-consciousness, has the numerical value of 364. From this we learn that on 364 of 365 days of the year, we may struggle with our ego-oriented self, but on one day - Yom Kippur - we are given the power to completely transcend these limitations & be angelic.
There is a total materialistic transcendence, a “rest” from all things physical as we become angelic. We rest from all physical activities, such as eating, drinking, marital relationships, even from walking/movement, represented by the prohibition against wearing leather shoes. Many have the custom to stand as much as possible during the prayers, also to mimic angelic activity. Just as angels are peaceful towards each other, we too, ask forgiveness from one another. During the course of the prayers, a white robe (kittel) & white prayer shawl (talit) are worn in imitation of angels who “wear” pure white.
On Yom Kippur we recite loudly the Baruch Shem prayer, “Blessed be the name of His glorious kingdom forever & ever,” since Moshe heard this verse of praise from the angels on high & later taught it to the nation of Israel.
And yet, the point of elevation of Yom Kippur is in the downward return, when we are able to bring the inspiration from above into our day-to-day lives here below.
On Yom Kippur, we are advised to remind oneself of the sons of Aharon who died on this day “when they approached G-d.” According to mystical thought, they transcended in spiritual ecstasy, in a state of “withdrawal without return.” So deep was their sense of transcendence, they were not able to return & so they died. By recalling their deaths, we are reminded that the most important part of the transcendent experience of Yom Kippur is drawing the inspiration down into our everyday reality. To experience a ratzu, an urge & deep will, to transcend & be angelic, together with shuve, the capacity to return.
G-d Bless.
J
And yet despite the fallibility of human beings, as a tremendous kindness, G-d has given us teshuvah - a way of returning to G-d by acknowledging our errors & resolving not to repeat them. This is not only a way to repair our mistakes but perhaps even to alter the past. Without teshuvah, life would be quite hopeless. Without a means to unshackle ourselves from our negative past, we would be forever crushed by the burdens of our past errors.
Teshuvah is essential for creation; in fact teshuvah was fashioned before the actual creation, according to the Talmud (Pesachim 54a.) The Zohar writes that prior to creating this physical world, the Creator conceived the notion of teshuvah & said, “Soon, I am going to create mortal human beings, but I do so on one condition: when they, because of their iniquities, turn to you, you must be prepared to erase their faults.”
A world imbued with teshuvah is a world of optimism, life & genuine opportunity, for regardless of our current state, we have the power to reorient our life & leap over any obstacles generated by our past deeds. Teshuvah affords us the freedom to liberate ourselves from the past & begin anew, rejuvenated & revitalized.
Regret & Acceptance
Classic Torah commentaries contend that the principal ingredients of teshuvah are regret (charata) & acceptance (Kabbalah).
True regret requires recognition of the negative act & a firm resolution - made consciously & with a whole heart - not to repeat it.
But we know well that we tend to forget our resolutions. Indeed, forgetfulness is the root cause of transgression. Often, were it not for assistance from above to overcome our negative temptations, which are so good at causing memory lapses, we would not succeed, as the Talmud tells us (Kiddushin 30b). Therefore, it is essential to always keep in mind that we are sinners - & always close to falling into transgression - & that G-d alone constantly rescues us.
But how can we, realizing that our sin is so deeply ingrained, have true regret over the past? So, too, how can we resolve not to sin in the future, when our experience shows clearly that without G-d’s help, we will certainly lapse again?
In truth, remorse over the past indicates an acute awareness of our lowliness - an awareness which must be engraved in the heart. In fact, the Hebrew word charata, meaning “remorse” is related to charitah “engraving.” Once this awareness is so engraved, we stand a better chance of never again forgetting our history & slipping. This act of engraving, in turn, creates within our hearts a receptiveness to G-d’s mercies. Thus we can accept Kabbalah, G-d’s mercy, with an absolute trust that G-d will save us from the bitterness of our soul & strengthen us to choose wisely in the future.
Four types of Teshuvah: Jewish work of ethics speak of four categories of teshuvah
1. Teshuvat HaBa’ah-literally teshuvah “of what comes next” - this teshuvah that occurs when we refrain from repeating a transgression when we find ourselves in the same condition or environment that had engendered a previous misdeed.
2. Teshuvat HaGeder - literally teshuvah “of the fence” - in the process of doing teshuvah, we erect for ourselves additional barriers & restrictions so that we may not be tempted to transgress. We deny ourselves even things that are permitted to us so that we will not inadvertently step over the line & fall.
3. Teshuvat HaMishkol - literally teshuvah “of the measure” - this is penance commensurate to the transgression. We inflict discomfort on ourselves equivalent to the measure of pleasure we had enjoyed from committing the transgression.
4. Teshuvat HaKatuv - literally teshuvah “of what is written” - we accept upon ourselves the equivalent of the Divine judgment as written & detailed in the Torah.
Teshuvah does not necessitate depriving or neglecting the body, according to the Baal Shem Tov - on the contrary, “a small hole in the body is a colossal cavity in the soul.” There are countless other means to refine ourselves such as giving charity or studying Torah. And an even better way is to transform the body so that whatever part of the body one used to commit an offense - a mouth to speak gossip or lie, a hand to strike someone - is re-energized to do good - a mouth to speak words of Torah, a hand to give to charity.
Verbal Confession
In addition to regretting past deeds & resolving to do better in the future, most commentators include confession (viddui) as another integral component of teshuvah.
Teshuvah is not complete until we articulate what went wrong in the past as well as verbally commit to change in the future. Why is this? Why do we need confession? Why is verbalization so integral to the process?
There are many reasons, but the ones we will explore are related to the Yom Kippur service, where we confess our sins a number of times. On the most basic level, speaking gives voice to our thoughts, thus making them clearer, crystallized & structured. By articulating our thoughts, we unveil a deeper understanding of the matter at hand. Thoughts, as they exist in the mind, can remain elusive & unstructured. However, when these same thoughts “descend” into articulated language, they become comprehensible & coherent.
What’s more, not only do thoughts become clearer & more comprehensive when spoken aloud, they also become more of a reality. Words create our reality. When something is verbalized it seems to us all the more real.
Verbalization of teshuvah works the same way. Until our thoughts of teshuvah that germinate in the mind are verbalized, they remain elusive & vague. Through speaking about it & concretizing our repentance, our regret & resolve become all the stronger. Speaking endows the thoughts of change with a tangible reality, & the thoughts then attain permanence.
Additionally, “voice arouses intention,” which is a principle regarding the verbalization of all prayers & the reason why prayer is spoken & not left in the mind. It is through the verbalization of teshuvah that our inner feelings of wanting to return to G-d are revealed. The more we speak about a feeling of the heart, the more augmented & real the feeling becomes, & our teshuvah becomes more intense. What’s more, even if we had not yet resolved to undertake the journey to transform, our speaking about it will eventually bring us to do it.
Yom Kippur: A day of teshuvah
Yom Kippur was chosen as a day of teshuvah because it was the original day of forgiveness at the time of the birth of the Jewish nation.
A mere six weeks following the monumental encounter with G-d at Sinai, when the absolute oneness of the Creator was clear to the Israelites, they danced around the golden calf & proclaimed, “This is the G-d that took us out of Egypt.” Forty days of prayers elicited for them forgiveness, & then Moshe went up the mountain again for forty days, & when he descended this time, with the second set of tablets, he found a people eagerly awaiting his return & the Torah he was bringing.
That day was the tenth day of the seventh month of Tishrei, the day to be designated by the Torah as Yom Kippur.
Yom Kippur became the one day of the year that embodies the concept of teshuvah most intensely. In the words of the Rambam - Maimonides: “Though teshuvah is appropriate at all times of the year, during the ten days between Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur it is more appropriate, & it is accepted immediately. Yom Kippur itself is a time of teshuvah for all, & it is a cessation of forgiveness & absolution for the people of Israel.” (Hilchos Teshuvah 2: 6-7)
Day of Atonement
“The essence of the day of Yom Kippur brings atonement,” the Talmud declares (Yuma). The day of Yom Kippur calls forth sublime measures of holiness, which are able to eclipse & eliminate all transgressions. Although the Talmudic sages wage a debate - as to whether or not the day itself absolves us even when we don’t do teshuvah - all opinions are in agreement that the essence of the day itself brings atonement. The debate is limited to the question whether the individual must set in motion this process through active participation by doing teshuvah, or if the day atones through mere passive participation by desiring teshuvah. What sense would it make to forgive an individual who makes no effort & does not even desire forgiveness?
Therefore, the bare minimum is needed - that is, we must be at least passively accepting of forgiveness, & we must not interfere with the healing power of Yom Kippur. But, in order to achieve a complete & total teshuvah, we need to partake fully in the teshuvah process. Genuine teshuvah is attained when we can fuse the inspiration from above with the perspiration from below - when the lofty levels that are revealed from on high permeate & lodge deeply into our consciousness, becoming part of our every day reality.
Shabbat Shabbaton
Yom Kippur includes both these aspects:
1. It is a time when “the essence of the day brings atonement” as a revelation of unconditional love from above
2. It is a time when we have reached the full potential of our own activities, beginning with the introspection during the month of Elul, & culminating with the end of the “ten days of awe.”
These two complimentary ideas are alluded to in the two verses in the Torah which mention Yom Kippur as a day that is a Shabbat Shabbaton - a Shabbat of total rest:
1. Shabbat Shabbaton he lachem (Leviticus 16:31), which means “A total day of rest it (literally she) will be to you”
2. Shabbat Shabbaton hu lachem (Leviticus 23:32), which means “A total day of rest it (literally he) will be to you”
Why twice - the first in feminine form, the second in masculine? The feminine represents the receiver, reflecting the one who is passively receiving revelation from above. The masculine represents a proactive stance. On Yom Kippur there is a melding of the two, beyond duality, beyond separation.
A day of transcendence/A time of immanence
On Yom Kippur, we aspire to operate on a level of transcendence, striving to mimic angelic behavior. Yom Kippur is a day of rest from normative bodily necessities. The restrictions of the day are not meant to bring suffering to the body (if inflicting pain was the intention there would be many much more effective ways of doing so), rather, the focus here is to cease operating in the normative physical sphere & ascend to function angelically. It is a day dedicated to the achievement of transcendence of the physical, as well as a transcendence of all negativity & transgression.
While every other day of the year we may struggle with our own inner Satan, on Yom Kippur, we experience a transcendence of all negativity & deprecation. The Hebrew word for Satan, ha’satan, which describes confining ego-consciousness, has the numerical value of 364. From this we learn that on 364 of 365 days of the year, we may struggle with our ego-oriented self, but on one day - Yom Kippur - we are given the power to completely transcend these limitations & be angelic.
There is a total materialistic transcendence, a “rest” from all things physical as we become angelic. We rest from all physical activities, such as eating, drinking, marital relationships, even from walking/movement, represented by the prohibition against wearing leather shoes. Many have the custom to stand as much as possible during the prayers, also to mimic angelic activity. Just as angels are peaceful towards each other, we too, ask forgiveness from one another. During the course of the prayers, a white robe (kittel) & white prayer shawl (talit) are worn in imitation of angels who “wear” pure white.
On Yom Kippur we recite loudly the Baruch Shem prayer, “Blessed be the name of His glorious kingdom forever & ever,” since Moshe heard this verse of praise from the angels on high & later taught it to the nation of Israel.
And yet, the point of elevation of Yom Kippur is in the downward return, when we are able to bring the inspiration from above into our day-to-day lives here below.
On Yom Kippur, we are advised to remind oneself of the sons of Aharon who died on this day “when they approached G-d.” According to mystical thought, they transcended in spiritual ecstasy, in a state of “withdrawal without return.” So deep was their sense of transcendence, they were not able to return & so they died. By recalling their deaths, we are reminded that the most important part of the transcendent experience of Yom Kippur is drawing the inspiration down into our everyday reality. To experience a ratzu, an urge & deep will, to transcend & be angelic, together with shuve, the capacity to return.
G-d Bless.
J
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The thoughts of A Nomad Soul
Each one of us is on a journey; each one of us has a history, from our birth to the time when our life ends. The distance between those two points in time is our journey. These are reflections of part of my journey. A journey that might be different from yours, but I am sure you might find that there are places where you can relate.
In a sense, even though we might not realize it, we are all traveling on two journeys. There is the one which is visible, that which we can see with our eyes, the places that pass us by, the events like births, graduations, weddings, relationships, breakups, jobs, careers & much more. Then there is the journey within, the real essence of our lives. The journey into inner space, into our heart & soul, into who we really are, what makes us run this race called life, what motivates our actions or inaction's. This journey is the more important of the two, since it determines our outer journey. My thoughts in these pages reflect not only the physical Africa, but the effects that Africa had on my soul.
Call it awareness; call it being in touch, a sense of destiny, sensitivity to divinity, to inner leading and directions. My journey has been filled with both. There have been times when I have ignored that inner sense & just gone with that which is visible to the eye, only to find that I did not find the joy in my journey. Whereas, when I go on the inner path, I find that the sense of joy that permeates all of me & is visible to those around me. The motivation for life, the will to keep on going, the desire to discover new things is not an extrinsic motivation but comes from deep within.
Africa is the place where I experience what I call, some real "finding times". A place where I found that inner sense, my home, my place of discovery, celebrating each day like it was the only one.
The journey has brought me to where I am at this moment in time. I do not know what my future holds, but I can say this. "I do know who holds my future." It does not matter where my feet have been, but in which direction they are headed.
I once took a journey on an old boat down the Crocodile River. I drifted lazily along, only allowing the current to direct me. It was a wonderful feeling in the warm African sun. Yet at times I needed to use the oars to keep me headed in the right direction. I find the same in my life. There are times when I need to make some adjustments in my journey using the tools, the ores that have been given to me, to keep me headed in the right direction.
Knowing that sooner or later, I will be heading home. An inner confidence, that my life does have a sense of purpose, of direction & of leading. The river of life has kept me within its channels, & all that I have experienced has been for the good of things, for in & outworking of simply who I am. I somehow sense that the best is yet to come.
I hope that you enjoy these pages; the reflections & discoveries of my journey & may they inspire you on yours.
The my inner journey, the care of the soul has been something I have always pursued even though at times I took some short-cuts or detours, My ideas as to how we human beings are empowered, how life is really sustained beyond mere existence & how we can be in tune with ourselves & the world in which we live have changed a lot. I find that it always comes down to living from my center, living from within, appreciating each moment, drinking it all in & experiencing life with all of its flavors. Finding joy & not just seeking happiness, call it "living with passion."
On a hike one day; as I crossed a river, I stood on a bridge looking into the ravine below. I saw a leaf go by tumbling over logs & some rocks. I thought that was just like my life had been, Overcoming the obstacles with sheer will power, blood, sweat & tears. I also remembered the words of an old man who was blind, sitting on the streets of Maputo, Mozambique, who when I leaned over to money in his cup, took my hand & said: "The difficulties in your life will form something different in you. Drink deep from the cup that has been placed on your lips, drink the cup of suffering so that you may go on & be healed." I had forgotten those words until recently.
I turned & followed the leaf as it made its way to the lake & thought of the river & how it merged with the lake. I saw it lose its color & blend with the vast gray of the Lake. I thought of myself; my way, my will & how I had connected & flowed into something larger than myself. A realization that there were other realms, dimensions. That there was something greater than my little world & I could be & wanted to be part of it. I have always been part of it; but now I wanted to be one with it.
I usually see concepts in pictures, images that flow to me & make things real as to my own life & how to walk the path that is meant for me.
As I was hiking through the hills I came across a stream that I followed which led me to a clearing which turned out to be a swamp type area. I looked around & saw that the Fever trees were losing their color & life. I saw water surrounding them; stagnant water. There was no flow of life, only murky water. I looked up & saw an inflow of the stream & then I saw the reason for the swamp. It turned out the outflow had been blocked by debris forming a dam.
The light came on in my head & a realization that I had become like that swamp, that I had an inflow but no outflow. It was there that I made the commitment to use what had been given to me. To harmonize my life along the lines of my gifts & talents & not to fit into some mold of other people's expectations, being true to the life & light within.
I miss the relational aspects of life. I do miss sitting with people in the evenings at their homes & talking about life, about the past, present & future; but, I would miss the sounds of drums drifting through the thick, humid night air. The sounds of raindrops, pounding down, the crack of thunder as it strikes the great lakes. I will miss sitting with village elders & drinking some home-brew out of a common pot with a long, wooden straw & sharing one's journey. It is here where I have truly learned to enjoy the moment.
I was sitting outside my tent one day & was having coffee & cookies. I dropped one of the cookies, or a portion thereof. For the next two hours I sat there under the tent awning & watched a trail of ants carry away the cookie, crumb by crumb.
An African guard that is traveling with me came by & laughed & said, Muzungu (white man), you are becoming a Mudagavu (African) you are enjoying the small things in life. This really made me smile.
Patience in our journey, watching things unfold, allowing them to be birthed naturally instead of doing a caesarian operation in my own strength. Allowing the life force within to lead me through dreams & visions, images that come to me as I quiet my heart & soul.
I am going to allow what I have learned here to be replicated wherever I go. To be relational rather than task orientated. To work with people instead of through people. To share what has been given. To be replenished daily through a quiet waiting. To embrace the moment to live life in the spirit of what the Jews call "La Chaim." To look at the past & say what Edith Piaf, the sparrow of French Music used to sing (Je ne regrette rien) I have nothing to regret.
The sad thing I find is that most people live on a different plane. They do not understand the path of the soul. There is no care of the soul. Life is repetitions of getting up, going to work, going to bed.
The wonderful thing is that there is so much more. Our Philosophy of life needs to go through a paradigm shift. A shift away from task orientation. Away from more is better, away running the race of life without purpose to the place where we can enjoy who we are, what is around us, to eat the ice-cream cone with the gusto of a little child, of being childlike without being childish.
In my own life that place came as I hit a wall, some might call it a dark night of the soul, others an inner awakening, the result has been a release of life within, being able to savor the little things in life & in a sense, to dance as Zorba the Greek with a sense of abandonment.
Lacheim is my inner call, the Hebrew word calling one to life. In Swahili they say “Kabissa”, meaning complete, & though I am far from it, the journey is on. Enjoy my African journey as you continue to read these pages of mine...
You either love Africa or you hate it, I happen to love Africa. My first love will always be Africa no matter where my feet may land.
People always ask me how one can be of help to the children of Africa ... one way is to come & see, the other is to support a child in Africa that helps to educate them out of poverty into a life where there is a sense of a meaningful life...
Inside the great mystery that is, we don't really own anything. What is this competition we feel then, before we go, one at a time, through the same age?
If you have opened your loving to G-d's love, you are helping people you don't know & have never seen.
In a sense, even though we might not realize it, we are all traveling on two journeys. There is the one which is visible, that which we can see with our eyes, the places that pass us by, the events like births, graduations, weddings, relationships, breakups, jobs, careers & much more. Then there is the journey within, the real essence of our lives. The journey into inner space, into our heart & soul, into who we really are, what makes us run this race called life, what motivates our actions or inaction's. This journey is the more important of the two, since it determines our outer journey. My thoughts in these pages reflect not only the physical Africa, but the effects that Africa had on my soul.
Call it awareness; call it being in touch, a sense of destiny, sensitivity to divinity, to inner leading and directions. My journey has been filled with both. There have been times when I have ignored that inner sense & just gone with that which is visible to the eye, only to find that I did not find the joy in my journey. Whereas, when I go on the inner path, I find that the sense of joy that permeates all of me & is visible to those around me. The motivation for life, the will to keep on going, the desire to discover new things is not an extrinsic motivation but comes from deep within.
Africa is the place where I experience what I call, some real "finding times". A place where I found that inner sense, my home, my place of discovery, celebrating each day like it was the only one.
The journey has brought me to where I am at this moment in time. I do not know what my future holds, but I can say this. "I do know who holds my future." It does not matter where my feet have been, but in which direction they are headed.
I once took a journey on an old boat down the Crocodile River. I drifted lazily along, only allowing the current to direct me. It was a wonderful feeling in the warm African sun. Yet at times I needed to use the oars to keep me headed in the right direction. I find the same in my life. There are times when I need to make some adjustments in my journey using the tools, the ores that have been given to me, to keep me headed in the right direction.
Knowing that sooner or later, I will be heading home. An inner confidence, that my life does have a sense of purpose, of direction & of leading. The river of life has kept me within its channels, & all that I have experienced has been for the good of things, for in & outworking of simply who I am. I somehow sense that the best is yet to come.
I hope that you enjoy these pages; the reflections & discoveries of my journey & may they inspire you on yours.
The my inner journey, the care of the soul has been something I have always pursued even though at times I took some short-cuts or detours, My ideas as to how we human beings are empowered, how life is really sustained beyond mere existence & how we can be in tune with ourselves & the world in which we live have changed a lot. I find that it always comes down to living from my center, living from within, appreciating each moment, drinking it all in & experiencing life with all of its flavors. Finding joy & not just seeking happiness, call it "living with passion."
On a hike one day; as I crossed a river, I stood on a bridge looking into the ravine below. I saw a leaf go by tumbling over logs & some rocks. I thought that was just like my life had been, Overcoming the obstacles with sheer will power, blood, sweat & tears. I also remembered the words of an old man who was blind, sitting on the streets of Maputo, Mozambique, who when I leaned over to money in his cup, took my hand & said: "The difficulties in your life will form something different in you. Drink deep from the cup that has been placed on your lips, drink the cup of suffering so that you may go on & be healed." I had forgotten those words until recently.
I turned & followed the leaf as it made its way to the lake & thought of the river & how it merged with the lake. I saw it lose its color & blend with the vast gray of the Lake. I thought of myself; my way, my will & how I had connected & flowed into something larger than myself. A realization that there were other realms, dimensions. That there was something greater than my little world & I could be & wanted to be part of it. I have always been part of it; but now I wanted to be one with it.
I usually see concepts in pictures, images that flow to me & make things real as to my own life & how to walk the path that is meant for me.
As I was hiking through the hills I came across a stream that I followed which led me to a clearing which turned out to be a swamp type area. I looked around & saw that the Fever trees were losing their color & life. I saw water surrounding them; stagnant water. There was no flow of life, only murky water. I looked up & saw an inflow of the stream & then I saw the reason for the swamp. It turned out the outflow had been blocked by debris forming a dam.
The light came on in my head & a realization that I had become like that swamp, that I had an inflow but no outflow. It was there that I made the commitment to use what had been given to me. To harmonize my life along the lines of my gifts & talents & not to fit into some mold of other people's expectations, being true to the life & light within.
I miss the relational aspects of life. I do miss sitting with people in the evenings at their homes & talking about life, about the past, present & future; but, I would miss the sounds of drums drifting through the thick, humid night air. The sounds of raindrops, pounding down, the crack of thunder as it strikes the great lakes. I will miss sitting with village elders & drinking some home-brew out of a common pot with a long, wooden straw & sharing one's journey. It is here where I have truly learned to enjoy the moment.
I was sitting outside my tent one day & was having coffee & cookies. I dropped one of the cookies, or a portion thereof. For the next two hours I sat there under the tent awning & watched a trail of ants carry away the cookie, crumb by crumb.
An African guard that is traveling with me came by & laughed & said, Muzungu (white man), you are becoming a Mudagavu (African) you are enjoying the small things in life. This really made me smile.
Patience in our journey, watching things unfold, allowing them to be birthed naturally instead of doing a caesarian operation in my own strength. Allowing the life force within to lead me through dreams & visions, images that come to me as I quiet my heart & soul.
I am going to allow what I have learned here to be replicated wherever I go. To be relational rather than task orientated. To work with people instead of through people. To share what has been given. To be replenished daily through a quiet waiting. To embrace the moment to live life in the spirit of what the Jews call "La Chaim." To look at the past & say what Edith Piaf, the sparrow of French Music used to sing (Je ne regrette rien) I have nothing to regret.
The sad thing I find is that most people live on a different plane. They do not understand the path of the soul. There is no care of the soul. Life is repetitions of getting up, going to work, going to bed.
The wonderful thing is that there is so much more. Our Philosophy of life needs to go through a paradigm shift. A shift away from task orientation. Away from more is better, away running the race of life without purpose to the place where we can enjoy who we are, what is around us, to eat the ice-cream cone with the gusto of a little child, of being childlike without being childish.
In my own life that place came as I hit a wall, some might call it a dark night of the soul, others an inner awakening, the result has been a release of life within, being able to savor the little things in life & in a sense, to dance as Zorba the Greek with a sense of abandonment.
Lacheim is my inner call, the Hebrew word calling one to life. In Swahili they say “Kabissa”, meaning complete, & though I am far from it, the journey is on. Enjoy my African journey as you continue to read these pages of mine...
You either love Africa or you hate it, I happen to love Africa. My first love will always be Africa no matter where my feet may land.
People always ask me how one can be of help to the children of Africa ... one way is to come & see, the other is to support a child in Africa that helps to educate them out of poverty into a life where there is a sense of a meaningful life...
Inside the great mystery that is, we don't really own anything. What is this competition we feel then, before we go, one at a time, through the same age?
If you have opened your loving to G-d's love, you are helping people you don't know & have never seen.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The “Tipper” Miracles: Part Two: The Average Tipper
Continuing the topic from the last blog, we will now move on to what I call the average tippers. Most of the people reading this are most likely in this category. Even though they tend to be the least memorable of the three, these were the people that provided most of my money. These people allowed me to support myself. Humans always seem to search for things that are out of the ordinary. Maybe this is why we barely take notice of the things or people that seem common place. It’s very unfortunate, to be honest, because this applies to the “everyday” miracles as well. We all have our routines. We all have places to go, people to deal with, and things to take care of. So much passes us by without us even noticing, including everyday miracles.
Before I can get into what we are missing, I think we each need to decide what we personally feel the definition of a miracle is. When I was taking college courses, I had an art teacher that assigned us a paper. In order to get the information for this paper, we had to go out on campus and interview several random people that we didn’t know with one single question... “What is art?” He assigned this to show us that much like beauty, art is in the eye of the beholder.
There were some people who believed like me; art was everywhere and in everything. A building, a car, and even a fork...these all began from the creativity of someone. Many believed nature itself to be art as well. The artist differed from person to person depending on their beliefs, but nonetheless, it was all a beautiful canvas to them.
There were some who were more limited in their responses; paintings, music, some things that were designed, but nothing nature. That isn’t art...that just is.
There were other people who were extremely limited (and quite honestly I felt a little bad for). They felt that art was strictly limited to sculpture, paintings, and so forth. Nothing outside of the “idealistic” art world could possibly qualify as art.
In this paper I learned of the ways people see things. It’s not a matter of what is correct or incorrect, it was about personal perception. Different people interpret different things in different ways. I have stood before a painting with another person, and after studying it, we both explained what we felt the artist was trying to portray. More often than not, the interpretations were different. Even with the blogs that you all read and comment on; I will read and hear how you interpret them and what they said to you and sometimes it is very different from what I had in mind. Interesting isn’t it? It doesn’t mean that one of us looked at the painting incorrectly or that any of you are reading the blogs wrong; it means that these things speak to you in very different ways. And the same goes for miracles. So I will ask you to pause for a moment and consider this question, what do you define as a miracle? There is no right or wrong answer in this. My personal definition is that just about anything can be a miracle. Most people see miracles as these huge incredible things where people are allowed to defy death or a message or face appears on a sacred place or something. (The “In Your Face” miracles. But we will get into that in part three.) But what about when you are driving to work and you just happen to have timed it right so that you were able to hit your breaks when someone turned in front of you. What about when you were having a bad day and some random person went by and said hello and smiled at you, actually making you feel a tiny bit lighter? What about those “good days” as we call them, when everything seems to line right up for us? What about when you have to go buy something and you were pleasantly surprised at the register to find out someone forgot to post a price and it’s much cheaper than you thought?
I know that there could very well be readers sitting there saying, “No...those are coincidence. Not miracles.” But, in my opinion, coincidences and miracles go hand in hand. Using art for an example again, you will sometimes see sculptures that look like a pile of scrap metal or a tower of sponges in a museum. The most common response I hear from people looking at art like that is “You call this art? I can do that!” There was a piece that I was studying that would cause this reaction from a lot of people. To the unknowing eye, it was a collection of weird random things that had nothing to do with anything. But when you started to read the title and hear the story behind it, you discover that the artist was using symbolism to capture his thoughts and feelings on September 11th . You suddenly see things that represented planes, the twin towers, heroes, hate, and the US...the list goes on and on. It was actually very beautifully done and very moving.
I believe G-d reveals Himself to us in countless ways. Sometimes it’s an incredible miracle that people will talk and write about for years. Sometimes it’s something small and simple that is almost like a whisper saying, “I am here.” When you wake in the morning, try and look around you and see the simple common things. These things that are everyday miracles that a lot of the time go unnoticed or are easily forgotten. When you really begin to see them, if you are anything, like me, you will just smile and know that G-d just lovingly whispered in your ear, “I am here.”
I am going to include a song with this blog. A very good one that talks about the little things in life. And also over coming when they go wrong. The artist is Rob Thomas and the song is called Little Wonders. I was reading one day and he said he had been struggling to come up with the lyrics for this song and then one day he was walking his dog and as he was absent mindedly wanderin, he felt a tug on the leash and turned and saw his dog standing with his head up and his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of the breeze. That's when it hit him, it's the little things in life and that when he came up with Little Wonders.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsT2URr1Igc
G-d Bless.
K
To be continued...The “Tipper” Miracles: Part Three: The Incredible Tippers.
Before I can get into what we are missing, I think we each need to decide what we personally feel the definition of a miracle is. When I was taking college courses, I had an art teacher that assigned us a paper. In order to get the information for this paper, we had to go out on campus and interview several random people that we didn’t know with one single question... “What is art?” He assigned this to show us that much like beauty, art is in the eye of the beholder.
There were some people who believed like me; art was everywhere and in everything. A building, a car, and even a fork...these all began from the creativity of someone. Many believed nature itself to be art as well. The artist differed from person to person depending on their beliefs, but nonetheless, it was all a beautiful canvas to them.
There were some who were more limited in their responses; paintings, music, some things that were designed, but nothing nature. That isn’t art...that just is.
There were other people who were extremely limited (and quite honestly I felt a little bad for). They felt that art was strictly limited to sculpture, paintings, and so forth. Nothing outside of the “idealistic” art world could possibly qualify as art.
In this paper I learned of the ways people see things. It’s not a matter of what is correct or incorrect, it was about personal perception. Different people interpret different things in different ways. I have stood before a painting with another person, and after studying it, we both explained what we felt the artist was trying to portray. More often than not, the interpretations were different. Even with the blogs that you all read and comment on; I will read and hear how you interpret them and what they said to you and sometimes it is very different from what I had in mind. Interesting isn’t it? It doesn’t mean that one of us looked at the painting incorrectly or that any of you are reading the blogs wrong; it means that these things speak to you in very different ways. And the same goes for miracles. So I will ask you to pause for a moment and consider this question, what do you define as a miracle? There is no right or wrong answer in this. My personal definition is that just about anything can be a miracle. Most people see miracles as these huge incredible things where people are allowed to defy death or a message or face appears on a sacred place or something. (The “In Your Face” miracles. But we will get into that in part three.) But what about when you are driving to work and you just happen to have timed it right so that you were able to hit your breaks when someone turned in front of you. What about when you were having a bad day and some random person went by and said hello and smiled at you, actually making you feel a tiny bit lighter? What about those “good days” as we call them, when everything seems to line right up for us? What about when you have to go buy something and you were pleasantly surprised at the register to find out someone forgot to post a price and it’s much cheaper than you thought?
I know that there could very well be readers sitting there saying, “No...those are coincidence. Not miracles.” But, in my opinion, coincidences and miracles go hand in hand. Using art for an example again, you will sometimes see sculptures that look like a pile of scrap metal or a tower of sponges in a museum. The most common response I hear from people looking at art like that is “You call this art? I can do that!” There was a piece that I was studying that would cause this reaction from a lot of people. To the unknowing eye, it was a collection of weird random things that had nothing to do with anything. But when you started to read the title and hear the story behind it, you discover that the artist was using symbolism to capture his thoughts and feelings on September 11th . You suddenly see things that represented planes, the twin towers, heroes, hate, and the US...the list goes on and on. It was actually very beautifully done and very moving.
I believe G-d reveals Himself to us in countless ways. Sometimes it’s an incredible miracle that people will talk and write about for years. Sometimes it’s something small and simple that is almost like a whisper saying, “I am here.” When you wake in the morning, try and look around you and see the simple common things. These things that are everyday miracles that a lot of the time go unnoticed or are easily forgotten. When you really begin to see them, if you are anything, like me, you will just smile and know that G-d just lovingly whispered in your ear, “I am here.”
I am going to include a song with this blog. A very good one that talks about the little things in life. And also over coming when they go wrong. The artist is Rob Thomas and the song is called Little Wonders. I was reading one day and he said he had been struggling to come up with the lyrics for this song and then one day he was walking his dog and as he was absent mindedly wanderin, he felt a tug on the leash and turned and saw his dog standing with his head up and his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of the breeze. That's when it hit him, it's the little things in life and that when he came up with Little Wonders.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsT2URr1Igc
G-d Bless.
K
To be continued...The “Tipper” Miracles: Part Three: The Incredible Tippers.
Monday, August 16, 2010
The “Tipper” Miracles: Part One: The Horrible Tippers
I don’t know about all of you, but I have worked a few different kinds of jobs through my life. The job I want to talk about right now is when I used to be a waitress. Where I come from, the hourly pay for a waitress is extremely minimal. My tips were what mainly paid my bills. When it comes to tipping, there are three types of people. First, the horrible tippers: these are the people that (constantly, not occasionally because of bad service) leave very little or even no tip at all. Second, the average tippers: this is the category that most people lie in and these are the people that tip decently. Not too much, not too little...the perfect amount. Third, the incredible tippers: these are the people that go above average and leave you a tip that makes you feeling like the night will actually be well worth it. Something that I realized a few years into my time of waiting tables was that as a waitress or waiter, you always remember the horrible tippers and the incredible tippers, but you don’t really take note of the average tippers. Oh yeah...I am going somewhere with this...just wait. I remember at the last place that I waited tables; there was a couple (even after about 5 or 6 years I still remember them) that would come in with their three kids. They would always receive good service, and all the wait staff had at some point taken care of them, and they never ever left a tip of any kind. So when we all noticed a pattern and realized they were horrible tippers, we would groan when they were seated in our section. Another one I remember was a man that would come in with all kinds of different people. Sometimes he would be with a large group, sometimes a small one, but this guy always stood out to us. Why you may ask. Because no matter how much was left for us on the table or what the bill total was, he would take a ten dollar bill and fold it into a ring and playfully put it on the finger of whoever was waiting on him that day. OK...the ring part made him stand out in our minds as well but whenever he would wave you over, you knew you were able to get ten extra dollars on top of whatever you just worked for and that is a great feeling. Sadly, aside from my regulars that always asked for me as their server, I can’t at all tell you any stories about the average tippers that came our way.
Along with the category of tipper, comes a certain attitude in the waiter/waitress. You see the horrible tippers, you will still do your job as you are supposed to, but you are less compelled to go above and beyond because you know that no matter what, they aren’t going to make it worth your while. When the incredible tippers come your way, you are huge smiles, tons of jokes, those water glasses never go empty, and their dirty dishes aren’t in front of them for longer than a few seconds. Even if you don’t realize it, your eye is always on that table.
Ok...what does this have to do with anything? Well I’ll tell you! It’s very much like miracles. What? Miracles? Seriously? Oh yes...seriously. G-d works miracle on a daily basis. So many people dream of seeing a miracle. But don’t seem to realize that just in one day of their lives they could have witnessed several.
Like the tippers, I am going to put miracles into three separate categories. First we had the horrible tippers. Now I don’t think any miracle from G-d is horrible (or negative in any way shape or form). But I do think that some are unexpected. By unexpected, I mean not quite when you pictured and/or prayed for. Sometimes they can be a far cry from what you had in mind. While a horrible tipper may not leave you anything for the time and effort you put in, they are still building revenue for the place of business. Without that revenue, you have no job. The unexpected miracles can at times, even be confused with more trials or headaches. I am going to use my parents for an example here. When they were in their early twenties, they each separately moved to a place in the mountains. It was there that they fell in love with the mountains and eventually met and fell in love with each other. After three years of marriage my father landed a job in an area far away. They went, settled, had my brother and I, and planned for a life there even though deep down they really wanted to head back to the mountains. A couple times they tried to sell the house but nothing ever came of it. So they came to a point where they figured it was a sign from G-d that this was where they needed to stay put. Well, after 27 years of employment my father was laid off along with many of his coworkers due to the company downsizing because of the rough economy. It’s a pretty devastating thing to face. They knew it was a possibility and they were preparing for it. But that doesn’t ever seem to soften the blow. The next two years were very rough. They were alright, they took care of themselves but finding new jobs and a new life is no easy thing. They dealt with the unknown as far as what lay ahead for them and the stress of looking for work and starting over. They even had to live apart for a period of time because he had to go where he could look for work and she had to stay with me and keep working the job she still had. There were days where it felt like it would go from bad to worse and even I began to get angry and ask G-d why. But now...they have been humbled from their experience. If you ask my mom what she would do differently, she would say nothing because they ended up right where they had been asking to be. All those years that they lived elsewhere, they wanted to go back to the mountains. They saw it happening in a different way. They saw it happening with work lined up and a house of their own and without any headaches, just excitement. But through everything thing G-d brought them to a perfect little apartment in a wonderful neighborhood with wonderful people. They are located in a valley so all they have to do is open their blinds in the morning and they see mountains right there across the way. There is wildlife all around them. My father is working a job that is much different from what he used to have, but he’s also much happier with it. My mom was talking to me one day and she told that after everything happened, she realized that when she wasn’t looking, G-d worked a miracle and granted her exactly what she wanted.
These are the unexpected miracles; the miracles that usually occur when G-d brings good of a bad situation. It can be so hard to see it and have faith in it when you are in the middle of everything because as humans, we only see what is in front of us. G-d, however, sees all and knows what He is doing. Sometimes the outcomes aren’t quite what we hoped for either. My mom and dad were blessed with what they were asking for over the years. But G-d could have settled them elsewhere with different jobs because that’s where He needed them. I know that there are some that could be reading this asking why G-d would let things happen or why G-d doesn’t always give what we specifically asked for if we are good strong followers of His. My answer....I have no answer. Only G-d knows and sees what needs to happen and what is to come. I am in the middle of dealing with some difficult trials of my own right now. And there are days where I am frustrated and want to ask Him why. But then I calm down and remember that it’s not my place to question. It’s my place to have faith. I have seen good come of some horrible situations. And any of you out there dealing with difficulties, know that I will always be praying for you and G-d will always be by yours side. Even on days when it feels like He’s as far away as he can get. Having faith in Him doesn’t make the situation better, but it does make it a little easier to deal with because you are allowing Him to bare the burden for you. So, after reading this I want to ask you to take some time to reflect on things past and present. Try and see G-d in them. Sometimes it’s something as simple as making you stronger or humbling you so you can be ready for the next task. But in all of it....there is some sort of unexpected miracle.
G-d Bless,
K
To be continued.......The “Tipper” Miracles: Part Two: The Average Tipper
Along with the category of tipper, comes a certain attitude in the waiter/waitress. You see the horrible tippers, you will still do your job as you are supposed to, but you are less compelled to go above and beyond because you know that no matter what, they aren’t going to make it worth your while. When the incredible tippers come your way, you are huge smiles, tons of jokes, those water glasses never go empty, and their dirty dishes aren’t in front of them for longer than a few seconds. Even if you don’t realize it, your eye is always on that table.
Ok...what does this have to do with anything? Well I’ll tell you! It’s very much like miracles. What? Miracles? Seriously? Oh yes...seriously. G-d works miracle on a daily basis. So many people dream of seeing a miracle. But don’t seem to realize that just in one day of their lives they could have witnessed several.
Like the tippers, I am going to put miracles into three separate categories. First we had the horrible tippers. Now I don’t think any miracle from G-d is horrible (or negative in any way shape or form). But I do think that some are unexpected. By unexpected, I mean not quite when you pictured and/or prayed for. Sometimes they can be a far cry from what you had in mind. While a horrible tipper may not leave you anything for the time and effort you put in, they are still building revenue for the place of business. Without that revenue, you have no job. The unexpected miracles can at times, even be confused with more trials or headaches. I am going to use my parents for an example here. When they were in their early twenties, they each separately moved to a place in the mountains. It was there that they fell in love with the mountains and eventually met and fell in love with each other. After three years of marriage my father landed a job in an area far away. They went, settled, had my brother and I, and planned for a life there even though deep down they really wanted to head back to the mountains. A couple times they tried to sell the house but nothing ever came of it. So they came to a point where they figured it was a sign from G-d that this was where they needed to stay put. Well, after 27 years of employment my father was laid off along with many of his coworkers due to the company downsizing because of the rough economy. It’s a pretty devastating thing to face. They knew it was a possibility and they were preparing for it. But that doesn’t ever seem to soften the blow. The next two years were very rough. They were alright, they took care of themselves but finding new jobs and a new life is no easy thing. They dealt with the unknown as far as what lay ahead for them and the stress of looking for work and starting over. They even had to live apart for a period of time because he had to go where he could look for work and she had to stay with me and keep working the job she still had. There were days where it felt like it would go from bad to worse and even I began to get angry and ask G-d why. But now...they have been humbled from their experience. If you ask my mom what she would do differently, she would say nothing because they ended up right where they had been asking to be. All those years that they lived elsewhere, they wanted to go back to the mountains. They saw it happening in a different way. They saw it happening with work lined up and a house of their own and without any headaches, just excitement. But through everything thing G-d brought them to a perfect little apartment in a wonderful neighborhood with wonderful people. They are located in a valley so all they have to do is open their blinds in the morning and they see mountains right there across the way. There is wildlife all around them. My father is working a job that is much different from what he used to have, but he’s also much happier with it. My mom was talking to me one day and she told that after everything happened, she realized that when she wasn’t looking, G-d worked a miracle and granted her exactly what she wanted.
These are the unexpected miracles; the miracles that usually occur when G-d brings good of a bad situation. It can be so hard to see it and have faith in it when you are in the middle of everything because as humans, we only see what is in front of us. G-d, however, sees all and knows what He is doing. Sometimes the outcomes aren’t quite what we hoped for either. My mom and dad were blessed with what they were asking for over the years. But G-d could have settled them elsewhere with different jobs because that’s where He needed them. I know that there are some that could be reading this asking why G-d would let things happen or why G-d doesn’t always give what we specifically asked for if we are good strong followers of His. My answer....I have no answer. Only G-d knows and sees what needs to happen and what is to come. I am in the middle of dealing with some difficult trials of my own right now. And there are days where I am frustrated and want to ask Him why. But then I calm down and remember that it’s not my place to question. It’s my place to have faith. I have seen good come of some horrible situations. And any of you out there dealing with difficulties, know that I will always be praying for you and G-d will always be by yours side. Even on days when it feels like He’s as far away as he can get. Having faith in Him doesn’t make the situation better, but it does make it a little easier to deal with because you are allowing Him to bare the burden for you. So, after reading this I want to ask you to take some time to reflect on things past and present. Try and see G-d in them. Sometimes it’s something as simple as making you stronger or humbling you so you can be ready for the next task. But in all of it....there is some sort of unexpected miracle.
G-d Bless,
K
To be continued.......The “Tipper” Miracles: Part Two: The Average Tipper
Friday, July 16, 2010
Fear and "What If?"
It is especially hard these days to maintain a center of equilibrium amid the pressures & stresses of daily life. It is difficult to escape reading or hearing stories & murky pieces of information that bring us down, making us question the sanity of the world & the viability of our own futures. We long for supportive connections with others, loving communities, & homes where we can escape from the chaos & bad news.
Over time, a constant diet of sadness & fearful information produces an unconscious but continuous state of psychological fear. Psychological fear keeps us in an artificial state of hyper vigilance so that we are ready to defend ourselves at any moment. This fear never lets up. It causes us to hold our muscles & tendons in a continuous state of tension. Worry & concern line our faces & get stored in our internal organs. All kinds of diseases can take hold, & often do, because what is really happening is that we are compromising our immune systems. The energy that would normally go to repairing & healing our bodies is instead going to holding the tension & the negativity we cannot express & instead repress.
What does all of this fight or flight behavior achieve? It serves all of those things we worry might happen but research says 90% of the time never do. In other words, it serves nothing at all but causing us harm.
Once we choose to recognize the importance of addressing our psychological fear, we can open our hearts to practices & states of mind & body that allow us to step back from disease. It allows us to breathe, replenish ourselves, & find peace & contentment. This way of separating ourselves from the clamor outside to the peace within us, I like to call calm abiding.
Calm abiding is being aware of our personal needs & feelings, thereby allowing us to choose healthy feelings, thoughts & actions. When we pay attention to our thoughts & feelings, we can choose the ones that make us feel whole & complete. Calm abiding allows us to embrace the wisdom of our self-worth & the unique value we bring to this beautiful world that G-d gave us. It offers us the option to bring more hope, love & joy to every decision we make & action we take; it enables us to live as G-d would want us to. Calm abiding means we can choose to say no to the thoughts & actions that make us feel inadequate & less than ourselves. It means we can open our eyes to love & healthy supportive relationships & communities which are actually in greater supply & abundance than we are led to believe. We are encouraged to contribute to making the world better when we can see the opportunities around us & we can work to improve things we care deeply about.
So how can you practice calm abiding? There are many methods around & each person will find themselves moving toward one or two practices that work best for them. The most important elements to keep in mind when beginning a new practice are:
1) What practice helps you relax the most deeply & completely?
2) Which one gives you the greatest gift/benefit in terms of how you feel at the conclusion of each session?
3) Which choice are you most likely to engage in consistently so it becomes a habit? (tip: close to home or work, quiet/non-distracting environment, best time of day)
4) Are you willing and ready to do whatever is necessary to relax, calm your mind, & build psychological health?
5) How important to you on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being less & 10 being more), is finding a relaxation technique? If it's less than 8, you're not ready.
There are many calm abiding practices available, from yoga, exercise, and visualization techniques, changing your inner self talk, tai chi, chi gong & many more. But when it comes to effectiveness over time & the greatest joy for your effort, meditation has been found to be one of the greatest vehicle to finding true relaxation, calm abiding, the true nature of things, & spiritual transformation; enabling you to be one with G-d.
A good way to begin your meditation practice is to find a class in your community (there usually are some) & begin meditating with a group. This will give you the support & instruction to successfully develop a practice of your own. There are many good meditation books out there as well & I would recommend you go to a local book shop & look through the volumes on meditation until you find the one you like. I have found that people tend to have vastly different likes, dislikes & needs when it comes to meditation books, so you are better off browsing on your own. If you choose to begin meditating on your own, here are some tips:
• Sitting quietly in a comfortable position on a chair or floor cushion, or outdoors under a tree, close your eyes, invite G-d to join you & then focus on your breathing. Let your thoughts come & go; noticing how they fall away as you think them. Do not force; just surrender to time & space. This is a natural organic process that needs no help from you.
• Find the time of day when you can experience the fewest distractions, & you are the most relaxed.
• Meditate in the same place each time; you can use soft music to set the mood; I am normally outside, so I use the sounds of nature.
• Start with 10 to 15 minutes each day & build longer meditations as you can.
• Meditate the same time, same place & same way each time; consistency is important.
• Once you are able to feel free, being totally relaxed, you will sense & feel the presence of G-d by your side & talking with Him in this relaxed state of mind, will become the most beautiful experience you could have.
May G-d’s true peace be within you.
G-d Bless.
J
Over time, a constant diet of sadness & fearful information produces an unconscious but continuous state of psychological fear. Psychological fear keeps us in an artificial state of hyper vigilance so that we are ready to defend ourselves at any moment. This fear never lets up. It causes us to hold our muscles & tendons in a continuous state of tension. Worry & concern line our faces & get stored in our internal organs. All kinds of diseases can take hold, & often do, because what is really happening is that we are compromising our immune systems. The energy that would normally go to repairing & healing our bodies is instead going to holding the tension & the negativity we cannot express & instead repress.
What does all of this fight or flight behavior achieve? It serves all of those things we worry might happen but research says 90% of the time never do. In other words, it serves nothing at all but causing us harm.
Once we choose to recognize the importance of addressing our psychological fear, we can open our hearts to practices & states of mind & body that allow us to step back from disease. It allows us to breathe, replenish ourselves, & find peace & contentment. This way of separating ourselves from the clamor outside to the peace within us, I like to call calm abiding.
Calm abiding is being aware of our personal needs & feelings, thereby allowing us to choose healthy feelings, thoughts & actions. When we pay attention to our thoughts & feelings, we can choose the ones that make us feel whole & complete. Calm abiding allows us to embrace the wisdom of our self-worth & the unique value we bring to this beautiful world that G-d gave us. It offers us the option to bring more hope, love & joy to every decision we make & action we take; it enables us to live as G-d would want us to. Calm abiding means we can choose to say no to the thoughts & actions that make us feel inadequate & less than ourselves. It means we can open our eyes to love & healthy supportive relationships & communities which are actually in greater supply & abundance than we are led to believe. We are encouraged to contribute to making the world better when we can see the opportunities around us & we can work to improve things we care deeply about.
So how can you practice calm abiding? There are many methods around & each person will find themselves moving toward one or two practices that work best for them. The most important elements to keep in mind when beginning a new practice are:
1) What practice helps you relax the most deeply & completely?
2) Which one gives you the greatest gift/benefit in terms of how you feel at the conclusion of each session?
3) Which choice are you most likely to engage in consistently so it becomes a habit? (tip: close to home or work, quiet/non-distracting environment, best time of day)
4) Are you willing and ready to do whatever is necessary to relax, calm your mind, & build psychological health?
5) How important to you on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being less & 10 being more), is finding a relaxation technique? If it's less than 8, you're not ready.
There are many calm abiding practices available, from yoga, exercise, and visualization techniques, changing your inner self talk, tai chi, chi gong & many more. But when it comes to effectiveness over time & the greatest joy for your effort, meditation has been found to be one of the greatest vehicle to finding true relaxation, calm abiding, the true nature of things, & spiritual transformation; enabling you to be one with G-d.
A good way to begin your meditation practice is to find a class in your community (there usually are some) & begin meditating with a group. This will give you the support & instruction to successfully develop a practice of your own. There are many good meditation books out there as well & I would recommend you go to a local book shop & look through the volumes on meditation until you find the one you like. I have found that people tend to have vastly different likes, dislikes & needs when it comes to meditation books, so you are better off browsing on your own. If you choose to begin meditating on your own, here are some tips:
• Sitting quietly in a comfortable position on a chair or floor cushion, or outdoors under a tree, close your eyes, invite G-d to join you & then focus on your breathing. Let your thoughts come & go; noticing how they fall away as you think them. Do not force; just surrender to time & space. This is a natural organic process that needs no help from you.
• Find the time of day when you can experience the fewest distractions, & you are the most relaxed.
• Meditate in the same place each time; you can use soft music to set the mood; I am normally outside, so I use the sounds of nature.
• Start with 10 to 15 minutes each day & build longer meditations as you can.
• Meditate the same time, same place & same way each time; consistency is important.
• Once you are able to feel free, being totally relaxed, you will sense & feel the presence of G-d by your side & talking with Him in this relaxed state of mind, will become the most beautiful experience you could have.
May G-d’s true peace be within you.
G-d Bless.
J
Friday, July 9, 2010
G-d's Authority
The Kingdom of G-d is the entire domain over which G-d rules. It encompasses four realms; the spiritual, the physical, the internal & external realms.
The Kingdom of G-d consists of every area over which He exercises & demonstrates His dominion. The word "kingdom" is a contraction of "King's Domain" or the "domain of the king."
The term "Dominion" means the authority & ability to rule over something or someone. So, anywhere G-d's authority & ability is ruling is the domain of G-d, where His dominion is in effect.
One person tried to usurp G-d's authority in Heaven (The Spiritual Realm) & he was caught & kicked out, so G-d retained His complete dominion over Heaven.
The same person tried to usurp authority in the Earth (The Physical Realm) & partially succeeded, the reason he partially succeeded is because G-d originally gave authority in the Earth to His Chief Ambassador, a man named Adam who committed high treason & rebelled against G-d leaving a vacant spot for Satan to usurp Adam's authority to rule the Earth.
Now, since that time to now, G-d has been implementing His Master Plan to restore the Earth to His complete dominion once again.
In order to fix the problem with the Earth G-d had to go to the source of the problem, which is Adam & his descendants & to the source of their rebellion, Adam's heart & the hearts of all men (The Internal Realm).
The problem of rebellion against G-d's authority is a defect of the human heart, & in the Torah/Bible the heart symbolically represents the mind & spirit.
Therefore, this is where G-d needed to start reclaiming His dominion - Over the minds & spirits of men; this is why His primary command to the human race is to... Repent!
To repent is to change your mind so G-d can transform your spirit!
When we humble ourselves to G-d & once more seek His dominion over our lives we authorize Him to transform our spirits so that His dominion can be established in our hearts.
When His dominion is established in our hearts we give life to the doctrine that the Kingdom of G-d has come & it is within us. We are then Children of G-d.
After this amazing experience of becoming His children we now have the authority & ability of G-d personally restored to us so that we can once more exercise & demonstrate dominion.
What do we do with this dominion?
We influence culture.
Everywhere we go, in whatever we do, as Children of G-d we influence the culture around us until it resembles the culture of Heaven.
This is the purpose of having our personal dominion restored.
The reason we are changed internally is to have an impact on whichever society, in whichever Nation we live (The External Realm).
The word 'earth' is translated from the Hebrew word 'erets' which means Nations or Societies. The phrase 'filled with the knowledge' means 'to be pregnant with the revelation'.
So, 'the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the G-d’ can be translated as 'Societies shall become pregnant with the revelation of the glory of G-d’.
Now, the word 'glory' here means weight & a weight is something that causes an impact.
If you drop a 5 pound weight on your foot it causes an impact on your senses.
What causes an impact on Societies? What is the weight of a Society?
The weight of a society is its culture.
The culture of a society is what influences or impacts it. Therefore, the culture is the weight & the weight is the glory. So, the culture of a society is the glory of that society.
For instance, the glory of ancient Rome was the Roman culture. The glory of African society is African culture & so forth.
So, when the word said, "...The earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of G-d..." can be translated as, "Societies on earth shall be pregnant with the revelation of the culture of Heaven'.
And this is what we, as Children of G-d need to do; we need to impact the culture of the societies in which we live.
The societies of the world are the external realms of the Kingdom of G-d & our job is to influence these societies until their culture is identical to the culture of Heaven.
The Kingdom of G-d is G-d's rule over a four fold realm; Heaven (The Spiritual Realm), Earth (The Physical Realm), Man's Heart (The Internal Realm) & the Societies of the World (The External Realm).
This is the Kingdom of G-d, and every Child of G-d is both a Citizen & an Ambassador of that Kingdom.
G-d Bless,
J
The Kingdom of G-d consists of every area over which He exercises & demonstrates His dominion. The word "kingdom" is a contraction of "King's Domain" or the "domain of the king."
The term "Dominion" means the authority & ability to rule over something or someone. So, anywhere G-d's authority & ability is ruling is the domain of G-d, where His dominion is in effect.
One person tried to usurp G-d's authority in Heaven (The Spiritual Realm) & he was caught & kicked out, so G-d retained His complete dominion over Heaven.
The same person tried to usurp authority in the Earth (The Physical Realm) & partially succeeded, the reason he partially succeeded is because G-d originally gave authority in the Earth to His Chief Ambassador, a man named Adam who committed high treason & rebelled against G-d leaving a vacant spot for Satan to usurp Adam's authority to rule the Earth.
Now, since that time to now, G-d has been implementing His Master Plan to restore the Earth to His complete dominion once again.
In order to fix the problem with the Earth G-d had to go to the source of the problem, which is Adam & his descendants & to the source of their rebellion, Adam's heart & the hearts of all men (The Internal Realm).
The problem of rebellion against G-d's authority is a defect of the human heart, & in the Torah/Bible the heart symbolically represents the mind & spirit.
Therefore, this is where G-d needed to start reclaiming His dominion - Over the minds & spirits of men; this is why His primary command to the human race is to... Repent!
To repent is to change your mind so G-d can transform your spirit!
When we humble ourselves to G-d & once more seek His dominion over our lives we authorize Him to transform our spirits so that His dominion can be established in our hearts.
When His dominion is established in our hearts we give life to the doctrine that the Kingdom of G-d has come & it is within us. We are then Children of G-d.
After this amazing experience of becoming His children we now have the authority & ability of G-d personally restored to us so that we can once more exercise & demonstrate dominion.
What do we do with this dominion?
We influence culture.
Everywhere we go, in whatever we do, as Children of G-d we influence the culture around us until it resembles the culture of Heaven.
This is the purpose of having our personal dominion restored.
The reason we are changed internally is to have an impact on whichever society, in whichever Nation we live (The External Realm).
The word 'earth' is translated from the Hebrew word 'erets' which means Nations or Societies. The phrase 'filled with the knowledge' means 'to be pregnant with the revelation'.
So, 'the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the G-d’ can be translated as 'Societies shall become pregnant with the revelation of the glory of G-d’.
Now, the word 'glory' here means weight & a weight is something that causes an impact.
If you drop a 5 pound weight on your foot it causes an impact on your senses.
What causes an impact on Societies? What is the weight of a Society?
The weight of a society is its culture.
The culture of a society is what influences or impacts it. Therefore, the culture is the weight & the weight is the glory. So, the culture of a society is the glory of that society.
For instance, the glory of ancient Rome was the Roman culture. The glory of African society is African culture & so forth.
So, when the word said, "...The earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of G-d..." can be translated as, "Societies on earth shall be pregnant with the revelation of the culture of Heaven'.
And this is what we, as Children of G-d need to do; we need to impact the culture of the societies in which we live.
The societies of the world are the external realms of the Kingdom of G-d & our job is to influence these societies until their culture is identical to the culture of Heaven.
The Kingdom of G-d is G-d's rule over a four fold realm; Heaven (The Spiritual Realm), Earth (The Physical Realm), Man's Heart (The Internal Realm) & the Societies of the World (The External Realm).
This is the Kingdom of G-d, and every Child of G-d is both a Citizen & an Ambassador of that Kingdom.
G-d Bless,
J
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